Fearless Fables
by KateMarie999
Summary: Growing Up Haddock Series Miscellaneous stories. No one said parenting would be easy. But really, how much trouble could two little kids be? Hiccup and Astrid are about to find out... the hard way. A series of short stories about Hiccstrid parenting, chronicling their incredible successes and spectacular failures.
1. Talons and Toddlers Part One

_A new __Growing Up Haddock__ story series? Oh yes! This particular series is about the miscellaneous stories I'd created but hadn't been able to write into one of the actual stories in the series. For new readers, my __Growing Up Haddock__ series is all about Hiccup and Astrid's foray into parenting fraternal twins named Fearless Finn and Adrianna Miracle. This opens up a lot of possibilities and ideas._

_For those of you who are wondering, yes there will be more of __Little Miracles__ and its sequel, __Under Pressure__. These are just short stories about the twins! And the best part is that they're intentionally comedic and not emotionally distressing at all!_

_Co-written by __**amyboomerang**__. You know, the one who also co-wrote A Snoggletog Carol. We tend to write a lot of comedy when together and angst when separate._

* * *

**Talons and Toddlers  
Part One**

* * *

"Umm… Umm… Guys this is really heavy—" Hiccup huffed under the weight of the massive crate he had just heaved from the upper level. Toothless made a strangely strained noise as he tried to support his human who was beginning to topple sideways down the stairs. "I could really use some help…" He lost his footing momentarily as he shot a desperate expression to his guffawing family. "ASTRID!"

Astrid was too busy laughing at that moment to respond, so Adrianna took pity on her exhausted father who was now leaning, panting, on the railing, with the box perched precariously on the stair immediately beneath him. She ran up the stairs, squeezed past Toothless, and tried to grab the box from beneath. She strained to help lift it. Hiccup did not waste much time in watching her.

"Thank you, Addie, but I don't think—" she was now climbing onto the top to get up to where her father was, unknowingly shifting its center of gravity. It began to slowly tip beneath her weight—"you're going to—ADDIE!" He grabbed the little girl around the waist a second before the box tipped and tumbled down the stairs. Toothless narrowly missed its careening adventure by leaping with a frustrated squawk onto one of the rafters. At the base of the stairs, Astrid regained her poise long enough to dodge the crate as it broke open and spilled its contents across the floor.

Adrianna took one look at the mess now covering the floor and slowly looked up at her father with a sheepish expression. "Sorry daddy."

"No, no. It's okay. You actually made my job a lot easier. And we didn't need that crate anyway."

"Dad, what _is_ that?" Finn asked, probing a massive metal coated object which had landed atop the majority of the baby paraphernalia they were donating to Gustav's soon to be firstborn.

"Oh. That." Hiccup replied slowly, scratching the back of his head as he descended the stairs, Adrianna still in tow. He hoisted her to the floor on the other side of the mess before jumping gingerly over it himself. "That is... well…"

"That's your old playpen." Astrid interjected. "I'd forgotten how much like a prison it looked." She began to set it up aright so they could see it more clearly. The playpen stood almost three feet high, and its crowning glory was a metal infused door and locking mechanism.

Adrianna tried to push up the latch at the top of the gate. As soon as it wiggled free, she grabbed the handle and tried to swing it open, only to be surprised when it would not budge. "It's stuck." She said, pulling hard on it.

"No, no, it's supposed to do that." Astrid replied.

"Though if it were stuck we'd never notice," Hiccup added.

"Let me try, you're just weak." Finn said, pushing his sister's hand from the gate. He braced his feet on either side of the gate and heaved backwards with his full weight.

"If your grandfather couldn't get that open, I doubt you will." Astrid dryly remarked while taking a seat by the table to watch.

Finn let go and glowered at the mechanism. "What was this again?"

"Your playpen. We never opened it either; we just sort of… hoisted you over." Hiccup said. "Actually, I think Gobber was the only person who ever did know how that lock worked."

"He tried to show you once." Astrid piped up.

"Yeah, and it took four hands and three feet to do it. Not to mention the strength of a dragon."

"Not like we have any of those here, or anything." Astrid deadpanned. Stormfly, who was stretched out by the hearth made a soft noise of approval while Toothless leapt from the rafters down onto the stairs, eager to lend his assistance to the task.

"Why is the lock so… so…" Adrianna began, searching for the right word.

"Elaborate?" Hiccup said helpfully.

"Impenetrable?" Astrid corrected.

"Yeah… that." Adrianna said, not fully comprehending the words her parents had offered.

"Well… It's an interesting story…" Hiccup began, looking awkwardly off into the corner where the playpen used to be located. There were still scrapes on the wall where it had been rocked into the wood repeatedly by toddlers eager to escape. "We had a lot more lax security at first, but it turns out you all were pretty stealthy by the age of one or so."

The twins both looked at each other inquisitively. If they had been watching, they would have been captivated by the scathing looks the dragons were shooting the now erected playpen. Toothless seemed, especially, to take it as a symbol of ill will.

"What happened?" Adrianna asked, climbing onto the seat next to her mother. Finn decided to investigate the lock again.

"Well, we aren't entirely certain of the details," Astrid began, "but from what witnesses said we've pieced together the majority of it." She cast a mischievous look to her husband.

"Well, you know how the dragons sometimes babysit you? Well…"

* * *

"HICCUP! ASTRID! COME QUICKLY!" The door slammed open on the family breakfast. Fishlegs came to a halt at the foot of the table.

"Well, I'm glad it was only the first reasonably timed breakfast the family's had since the kids were born." Hiccup drawled while spoon feeding Adrianna. Astrid was in the middle of a battle to get some of the food from the spoon into her son's mouth, as opposed to his shirt, the table, the walls…

"MagnuswastrainingherWhisperingDeathanditgotspookedanditburrowedundertheAcademyandwecan'tfinditanymorebutwethinkitwasheadedtothewellandyourememberthelasttimeaWhisperingDeathgotnearthewelland—"

"Fishlegs—Fishlegs, calm down." Hiccup put his free hand up to try and halt his friend's incomprehensible diatribe. "I got Magnus, Whispering Death, burrow, and well. What happened?"

Fishlegs took a deep breath. "Magnus's Whispering Death burrowed out from under the Academy stables and we think it's heading to the well."

"Well, Magnus's Whispering Death is only just a hatchling. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. Just lure it out with some food." Hiccup replied.

"Yeah, about that… Magnus had just put a saddle on it, and she may have still been wrapped up in it when it went under."

"MAY have been?"

"Well… She's not in the Academy anymore…" Fishlegs said awkwardly. He had been put in charge of helping the youngest recruits while Hiccup and Astrid were both preoccupied with the baby days.

Hiccup started suddenly. "I think this may need immediate attention!" He announced.

"MAY need?" Astrid retorted while she ripped off Finn's bib in a hurry and tried to rub the excess food from his face. "We need to go. Now."

As she deposited Finn in the playpen, Hiccup cleaned Adrianna up as well. "We can't both go. What about the twins?"

Astrid took Adrianna from his arms and placed her next to her brother, who was now reaching through the bars trying to grab hold of his mother's skirt. "We are both needed. Think about it. What are you going to do if you have to calm down a frantic Whispering Death and cut off a saddle at the same time? Not to mention calming down Magnus, which has never been one of your strengths."

"Gee, thanks so much for the confidence." Hiccup retorted.

"GO. NOW." Astrid grabbed her husband's arm and began rushing him out the door.

"But what about the twins?"

"It'll only take twenty minutes! They'll be fine. They are in their playpen and this is an emergency. What's the worst that could happen?"

As Fishlegs pulled the door closed behind him he shakily said, "Um… Astrid… Did you have to say something like that? You know… When you say stuff like that…"

"STUFF IT!" Astrid shouted. Urgency was something she definitely had a better hold on than either of the two men she was with.

Adrianna stared desperately at the door and began to cry, hoping for the reaction she got when her father closed the door on her too early at bedtime. She wanted nothing more than for him to rush through that door and scoop her into his arms. However, this time no one came. Finn, on the other hand, took the opportunity of his sister's reclining position to use her leg as a step to get higher on the gate.

Toothless, who had been prepared to rush out after his rider before the door had been slammed shut, was startled from his vigil at the window by an even more anguished cry from Adrianna than had previously been heard. He swung his head around just in time to see Finn step off of his sister and fully onto what turned out to be the gate to the playpen. The simple motion of changing his weight over entirely to the top section of the gate caused a low creak as the wood splintered and the lock popped open. Toothless felt his heart plunge like he had just dived into the ocean. The young were loose.

* * *

_The second chapter is finished and I don't want to brag but I do think it is the most hilarious thing Amy and I have ever produced. I'm making this a collaboration because she and I do comedy so incredibly well. The other Growing Up Haddock stories are mine with a little help here and there so please don't think I'm incapable of writing something good on my own._


	2. Talons and Toddlers Part Two

_Can I just say that __**amyboomerang**__ and I had a BLAST coming up with ideas for and writing this? I really hope you enjoy it._

* * *

**Talons and Toddlers  
****Part Two**

* * *

Finn had always been interested in shiny objects—darting lights, beads, buttons, silverware—and currently one of his mother's daggers which had fallen beneath the family table. He toddled cheerfully across the room and picked it up to examine it. A second later a replacement tail fin slapped it out of his hands. Finn looked up into Toothless' face, which was staring intently into his own. For a moment he was almost afraid… but, then began to giggle and clap his hands. Toothless did not understand this little human.

A moment after the knife had been cruelly snatched from him, Finn noticed something else of interest. His mother had left her food on the table, and it looked like such fun paint. Knowing very well that neither of the large creatures his parents kept seemed to be permitted to be near him, (something about them being "too big" and the possibility of "crushing them") he decided that the now nearby ledge which was the dragon's face would make another convenient step his journey for self-satisfaction. He climbed up, using the mouth as a foot hole and grasping the top of his head for support, and then tumbled cleanly onto the table as his stair pulled back in surprise. Finn's little fingers were instantly drawn into the berry porridge, crushing the small fruits between his hands with a laugh. Toothless, now having shaken off the feeling of being used as a staircase had barely a moment of reprise before SQUELCH—his face was smeared with berry juice. In shock the dragon stood still for a moment while the finger painting commenced.

Even the most patient of dragons would begin to snap at this moment. He growled his discontent with the situation, yanked his head back, and tried to wipe the liquid from face with a taloned foot. His tail swished with agitation, rubbing against the doorknob and cracking open the door. Finn, who had been cheerfully embellishing the top of the table with his artwork, looked up at the noise (because he looked forward to his parents praising his masterpiece) and, seeing the door now open, suddenly got a marvelous idea. Right through the crack in the door he could see the most wonderful thing a tiny boy could see—a mud pit. The rain that morning had left a soft, squishy pool of dark liquid begging to be played in. He quickly dropped from the table to a chair, and from the chair to the ground. He ducked beneath the still preening dragon and raced as quickly as his little legs could carry him right out the door and into the mud.

Toothless stared out the door for a moment, letting the escape sink in. Suddenly it occurred to him—his human would probably not like it if his young left his pen. He lunged through the door after the little boy, leaving a now quiet and curious Adrianna completely alone.

Stormfly had also noticed the redhead plunging headfirst into the mud pit below her. She let out a croon before standing up from her comfortable sunbathing rock to follow him. Not eager to get herself dirty (Nadders are prestigious about their appearance after all), she stood awkwardly at the squishy bank. Toothless reached the bank of the pit a second later at rapid speed—a little too rapid. He could not manage to stop, and ended up sliding across the mud like ice, right over the playing child. Stormfly almost snorted in amusement. Toothless steadied himself and shook the mud from his face, when a voice echoed across the island from the arena.

"SNOUTLOUT, WHAT IN THOR'S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO THINK THAT THROWING A SHEEP WOULD CALM A DRAGON _DOWN_?!" It was his human. He did not sound happy. Toothless' first reaction was to dart after the voice, but a splash of mud hitting his nose quickly brought him back to reality. Finn was beginning to build a mud house, and Toothless appeared to be the guest of honor.

Stormfly, in the meanwhile, had found the most secure bank on the mud pit to perch while she used one foot to try and pluck the child from the mud. She did not see her owner appreciating her lifting the young by its head, so she needed to grasp it by its removable skin. It kept moving, however, which did make this task difficult. Especially on one foot.

"Daddy!" A high-pitched, distinctly feminine voice floated across the lawn. Both dragons froze and looked across the grass to where Adrianna was toddling her way onto the swinging bridge which served as the road to the Academy. "Daddy, I coming."

They exchanged a look, and after a moment silently agreed. Toothless darted towards the bridge, allowing Stormfly to focus her attention back on the job at foot. Only, the young had disappeared. She looked around frantically, finally spotting it, free of its upper skin, darting towards the village faster than a young Nadder after a scampering mouse. She let out a sigh of frustration, taking off after the child at a rapid pace.

Adrianna, meanwhile, intent on following her father's voice, had become slightly preoccupied with the sight of the ocean slapping at the multitudes of sharp rocks down beneath the bridge. She giggled at the sight of some fish leaping in the water in the distance, and had almost forgotten her objective when another scream echoed from the Academy.

"TUFF, WHEN I SAID IT NEEDS TO COOL DOWN FIRST I DIDN'T DOUSE IT IN WATER. THAT'S JUST GREAT, NOW ITS WET AAAAAAND FURIOUS." There was a pause. "AND SHOOTING SPIKES, DUUUUUCK!"

Adrianna giggled again. Her father sounded like he was playing over at the Academy. She wanted to play too. In her rush to turn back to her path, she lost her footing on the bridge and tumbled off to the side. She let out a gasp—

And had Toothless been a split second later, he would have been tasked with wordlessly explaining why it was his human had left the house the father of two and returned the father of one, assuming Stormfly could get the other young under control. The little girl, now grasped between his teeth, was giggling madly, hiccupping and saying "Fly, fly!"

_Not now_, he thought, understanding very well this command. He returned to the lawn outside of the house before collapsing to gasp in heavy breaths of air, the child now sprawled on the lawn, dripping with dragon saliva. "Ewwww…."

Toothless closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He was certain he had only closed his eyes for a moment to regain his composure, but when he opened them he discovered the young was gone. She had vanished like a Changewing into a forest. Actually…

* * *

Finn loved his Uncle Gobber's workshop. There was so much to play with. Panpipes, blocks, toys, and the occasional forgotten weapon which had fallen under the workbench. Gobber was usually pretty good about keeping his forge child friendly since so many of the children in the village tended to run through its open windows and doors while playing. He usually closed it up pretty tightly when he was not in just to insure no one got into anything they shouldn't, but as it so happened in his haste to go help rescue Magnus, along with most of the population of Berk it seemed, he had forgotten.

Finn was going to have a blast. Hopefully not literally, or at least someone would have hoped this if they had been there.

Finn's first act was to start pulling the crates of equipment and toys out from under the workbench. Uncle Gobber's toys were the best. Some of them were even sharp! Most of them he called "tools" but a few of them were called "Don't touch that!" Those were his favorites. He located one of the smaller "Don't touch that's" which featured a pointy ball and a stick. He tried to lift the stick up and giggled as it flopped back to the floor as soon as he released it. Small dents began to form in the dust beneath his feet, which fascinated him. He bent down to examine them, and in doing so, something else caught his eye.

Across the back wall, which was made entirely of stone, Finn spotted an orange light glowing from the farthest down of two holes. The fire danced, small but strong and free, in the back of the furnace. Gobber had obviously forgotten to completely extinguish the flames in his haste to head out. He obviously had not realized how mesmerizing they were to little boys. Finn crawled closer to investigate.

* * *

Stormfly had lost the young almost as soon as they had entered the village. With most of the villagers at the Academy watching the current spectacle, you would have thought that it would be easier to spot one little boy. However, the little one had dodged between buildings and quickly shaken her off the trail. She ran through the abandoned plaza, looking between every house before a loud, familiar giggle finally clued her into his position. Her head snapped to the side, and out of the corner of her eye she could see movement through the door to the forge. She rushed forward just in time to spot a pair of little feet poking out of the hole at the base of the forge where the fire was lit. The orange glow further gave her a sinking feeling about what the young was doing, and let's face it, humans are about as fireproof as wood.

Her immediate response was to snap her beak into the plush removable skin which covered the lower half of his body and drag him, squirming, from the furnace. He let out a shriek of indignation as she lifted him up into the air and tried to back out of the forge, unfortunately backing into work stations and causing them to crash to the ground. She turned in shock to check on the tables, and as she did the little one managed to wiggle his way out of his removable skin and fall, headfirst, to the ground. Fortunately a pile of work aprons caught him as he bounced to the ground, and the little boy lost no time in scampering away, now only clad in his tiny boots.

Stormfly dropped the removable skin and darted after the young. It was not going to escape again.

* * *

Toothless was following the squashed flowers and muddy footprints of the smallest human through the woods behind the Haddock home. In the distance he could hear a tiny voice singing cheerfully as she adventured through whatever she had been discovering. Toothless, nonetheless, was having an inordinately difficult time tracking her down. It was almost as though she started to go one direction, got distracted, and then went another. She was worse than a Terrible Terror chasing a spark of light.

"I fan da dwagon undar the staar," Toothless did not understand any of the words the human was singing, and it was not helping him uncover her whereabouts. "Der was a daddy and a mommy and der was a Finn and dey were wit the Addie and da—oooh…" The singing cut off suddenly as the child obviously had found something to occupy her again. Toothless hoped desperately she was not going to leave that distraction for a while.

Suddenly there was a loud SNAP, a terrified scream, and Toothless realized his wish had probably just been granted, albeit not how he had expected.

He raced after the crying voice as quickly as he could.

* * *

Stoick awoke in the fiery haze of the healer's hut, and sat up. For a moment he was not one hundred percent certain what had awoken him. His head was throbbing, the room was spinning, and he had the distinct impression that the herbs the healer had given him to help with his cold (which she had called "pneumonia") had done more than give him a little extra pep for the day. In fact, he was going to have to have a word with her about lying to a chief. He was certain he had told her he did not have time for a sick day.

He swung his legs off the edge of the bed where he had been sleeping when a loud squawk outside the window caught his attention. He looked up just in time to see a blur of pink and brown disappear beyond the frame, followed by a rapid and angry sounding blur of blue. He shook his head to clear his vision, just in time to catch the blur again.

"Did I really just-by Thor…" he muttered. He could have sworn his grandson, stark naked and covered in mud, was running through the plaza pursued by a ruffled looking Nadder. He shook his head slowly. Maybe he did need the sick day.

* * *

Stormfly was doing her best to herd the small human back towards its pen, but it was doing its best to elude her flapping wings and nudging beak. He dodged under wagons, raced through the open doors of homes (and leaving behind evidence she wasn't certain the inhabitants would enjoy). One elderly couple sitting down for lunch had to endure his parading through their home almost three times. Stormfly would stick her head in, caw indignantly, and try to squeeze through the furniture which was still standing before he rushed out through the back door. She was beginning to tire, and her patience had long since run out.

The little boy had stopped to splash his hands in the excess water and mud that had gathered in one resident's flowerpot. She crept up behind him slowly, holding her breath in so as to not alert him to her presence. Slowly, slowly… her head lowered so it was beneath his backside and then, quickly before he could escape, she snapped her head up, tossing the little boy with a startled "oof" into the air. Taking to wing immediately, she grabbed his ankles with her feet, her talons clamped around the last of the removable skin. It was time to go home. No arguments. For once, the child seemed to be too busy cheering to notice.

* * *

Toothless followed the screaming sobs to a large, high tree by a clearing in the forest. Looking up, he spotted the little girl suspended, flailing, in a dragon trap. It was strangely reminiscent of another time a blond human had become trapped in a net, and Toothless, just relieved she was no longer mobile, was almost tempted to leave her there until his human could control her. However, the dragon's pity won out, and he rescued the crying child. He climbed the tree nimbly to the top to take a closer look at the contraption. He had the strange feeling shooting it from beneath may end up being slightly dangerous—unless of course this child had been meant to look more like Gobber than Astrid in limb count. When the young noticed the dragon climbing the tree, she quieted down a little and seemed to reach out to grab him.

"Toofwess" she said. He paused and looked at the child. Neither of the young had ever said his name before. He felt a strange swelling of pride within him. He crooned gently and reached out and nudged the little girl with his nose. She rubbed his nose enthusiastically. "Toofwess come." She stated.

He pulled back and focused his eyes on the rope. After a quick calculation, Toothless gathered his plasma and spat a small blast of it at the rope, cleanly severing it in two. The little girl let out a screech of fear as the net plummeted towards the ground, but the descent was stopped almost immediately by Toothless' strong jaws snapping around the top of the net. She dangled beneath him as he slowly backed down the tree.

He put her down only for a moment, during which she tried to stand from within her encumbering confines. He looked around the forest quickly, trying to regain his bearings before gathering the child up again and heading home. He hoped beyond hope that Stormfly had captured the other young.

* * *

Stoick was feeling a little woozy, but well enough to stumble towards Gobber's workshop to find out what had happened while he was sleeping. He was beginning to become concerned about the distinct lack of people in the village. Even his earlier hallucination, as bizarre as it had been, had not worried him half as much as this. Unfortunately for him, just as he had finally convinced himself thoroughly that he had been hallucinating, a familiar giggle caught his attention. From above.

He looked up almost straight into the familiar, albeit upside down face of his grandson as Stormfly flew him overhead.

"Yep," he said slowly, turning around to return to the healer's house. "Still naked. Shouldn't have gotten out of bed."

* * *

Stormfly and Toothless arrived back at the Haddock residence at around the same time. They shared a meaningful look as if to ask what had happened to the other, as they were both now dirty, distinctly worse for wear, and carrying a young who was far too pleased with themselves for their current condition. After a moment, they both decided quite decisively that they did not really want to know. They squeezed in the door and headed to the playpen, where they deposited their charges and pushed the gate back closed.

Toothless collapsed with a thump on the right side of the pen, curling closely around it. Stormfly turned momentarily to emit a series of spikes before the gate so that even if the children had possessed the energy to escape again they would have been unable. She then also lay down beside the pen, and between them the two dragons completely enwrapped the pen.

Though sleepy, both dragons stayed awake enough to tell whether or not the children were about to do something risky (or rather Finn, as Adrianna was rather well ensconced), they both managed to make out the sound of their humans approaching in the distance. They seemed to be having a pleasant conversation in excited tones.

"I think we learned quite a bit about Whispering Deaths today. Like that they are attracted to the noise of singing Terrible Terrors."

"Good something in the village is," Astrid replied wearily. "Once they learn how to do it, they never shut up."

"True." Hiccup replied. "But it's good that Magnus escaped with only a few minor injuries, and, you know… the gaping hole in her shoulder."

"She'll be fine, and in any case, scars are cool. I mean, look at the gaping hole in your leg."

"Ha, ha." Hiccup replied sarcastically. "Thank you. I do take it as a sign of my most rugged Vikingness." There was a brief pause. "Why is there a shirt out here?"

"Hmm?" Astrid seemed to ponder this for a moment. "Must have come off the laundry some time during the night. It looks like one of Finn's." She went to investigate as Hiccup opened the door.

"Come on, guys, you know you aren't supposed to be near the kids. They may pull your spikes out, or try and pry open your mouths and—well, that's different." At that moment the dragons had backed wearily from the pen and Hiccup had finally caught sight of his sleeping offspring beyond them.

" I guess I'll just have to rewash it with whatever he's wearing now," Astrid said as she came through the door, closing it behind her (she was very paranoid about the children running outside without supervision).

"His birthday suit?"

"His what? No—oh… Well," she looked at Finn feeling rather perplexed. "I guess that needs washing too."

Hiccup and Astrid stood quietly looking at their children, almost too tired and shocked to be able to respond. Finally Hiccup thought that the obvious should be asked, "Why is our daughter in a dragon trap?"

"And why is our son naked?"

"And better question," a voice boomed through the open window, "why were your son's skivvies in my workshop?"

* * *

_This was so much fun. I cannot wait to share the third part with you as well. We're working on the second story and every time either one of us really thinks about how ridiculous the plot is, we start laughing. It's that funny. I hope my incredibly depressing __Little Miracles__ chapter has been slightly redeemed._

_~KateMarie999_


	3. Talons and Toddlers Part Three

_Yet another chapter that was a real joy to write!_

* * *

**Talons and Toddlers  
****Part Three**

* * *

The diaper was a _little_ worse for wear. By a little, this meant a gaping hole through both pants and undergarment. In other words, completely ruined.

Astrid and Hiccup responded naturally, as most parents would when faced with this phenomenon. They stared, open mouthed, at their son's clothes before turning to face the playpen again.

"What did you DO?!" Astrid said in a sudden flurry to grab her son and inspect his bottom. "That looks like Stormfly's beak—but she'd never, but there's no way, but… but… there's no mark so I guess we'll never know _what_ he did!"

Stormfly nodded, perfectly happy for her human to not ever know what methods she had resorted to so as to return the young unscathed.

Hiccup had managed to undo the mechanism entrapping Adrianna. The little girl toppled, sleepy, but still extremely happy out into her father's arms. As she snuggled into his neck, Hiccup saw another thing which made his heart leap into his throat. There were holes—no, _teeth marks_ in his little girl's shirt. And they looked mysteriously like…

"Toothless."

The dragon opened his eyes wearily and focused on his human with a soft coo. Hiccup pulled the shirt up to first inspect his child's back (no bite marks, check) before beginning his interrogation.

"Why," he started slowly, "why are there… why would you do this?"

The dragon jumped up by the window, stuck his head out and meaningfully looked straight at the offending bridge. Hiccup walked over and followed Toothless' gaze.

"I don't understand. Could you… mime it for me or something?"

Toothless' head plates fell flat on his head as a look of irritation crossed over his features. He turned and returned to where he had been napping.

"Okay… I'll just think about it for a bit, shall I?" Hiccup inspected his daughter's back again. No wounds, some dirt, and what appeared to be dried dragon saliva. "Aaah, that's just great." He groaned. "That'll take a while to come out."

Toothless shot his human a scathing look. Great way to be ungrateful.

"Strip her. Time for a bath." Astrid was already filling the tub with the buckets they had set aside for that evening.

"Never words I like to hear," Gobber said, having now entered the house and collapsed at the table. "Looks like your son has inherited Hiccup's art skills."

Astrid and Hiccup, hands full of toddler, both turned their heads to inspect it. Astrid sighed. "He's been preparing for his bath all day by the looks of it, and he was mighty busy doing so. Painting the table, playing in mud, visiting Gobber's workshop—"

"Destroying my workshop more like. The entire place has been turned upside down. It looked like a full-scale dragon attack happened in there." The parents eyed their dragons again suspiciously. Gobber continued, "and then of course he left his skivvies by the furnace."

That took a moment to sink in. "THE FURNACE?!" Astrid's face began to change color in shock. She plunged the little boy into the water and began scrubbing, desperately seeking singe marks. Finn began screaming at the top of his little lungs (which had amazing lung capacity when he decided to use them), in sharp protest to his freezing washing.

"Umm… Astrid, I think it's cold…" Hiccup said awkwardly. Astrid fixed him with a glare which was probably about the same temperature as the water.

"Shut up." She glanced to Toothless across the room, "a little help?"

The dragon still looked rather peeved, and refused to give too much attention to the scene. He spat a fast spark at the fire pit beneath the tub, and it ignited with a white flame. He then turned his back on the family to continue stewing in peace.

The door swung open once again as Stoick ambled in. "Kids, you will never imagine what happened today," he began.

"Well, I think at this point we're willing to believe anything." Hiccup deadpanned.

"I went to the healer and she knocked me out with these incredible herbs that made me see things…"

"See things?" Astrid echoed incredulously.

"You went to the healer?" Hiccup added. "Voluntarily?"

"Finn was running throughout Berk naked, being chased by that Nadder of yours, Astrid." He took a seat next to Gobber. "When I went outside she had him by the ankles and was flying him around town. What happened to this table?"

"I don't think that was a hallucination, Dad…" Hiccup said slowly. Astrid was now inspecting Finn's feet for claw marks.

"Especially if these holes in his boots are any evidence," Gobber added helpfully. Hiccup took the boots to examine them next to Stormfly's talons. They fit.

"Well, that's one mystery solved." Hiccup tossed the boot into the pile of ruined clothing that had appeared by the tub. "Only about a hundred or so left."

"What other mysteries?" Stoick asked.

"Well, we start with how they got out of their playpen. Then there's the question of with why Addie was in a net. And why there was a gaping hole in Finn's skivvies—"

"He was crawling into the furnace in Gobber's workshop." Astrid offered. The room all turned their attention to her. There was a moment of silence.

"Well, that's going to give me nightmares." Hiccup said.

"Me too," Gobber added. "Charred child is not one of my favorite workshop decorations."

Hiccup's face paled a little. "I don't think that's helping, Gobber," Stoick murmured.

"No, no, that mental image is now firmly ingrained into my mind. I don't think I will ever erase it from my subconscious." Hiccup glanced back out the window. "We also don't know why there are teeth marks on the back of Addie's shirt, and all Toothless will do if you ask is look at the—oh my. Oh, oh, my." A horrible thought flitted through Hiccup's mind. "I think I suddenly want to do some construction."

"Construction?" Stoick tried to imagine this.

"Yes, childproofing. The bridge."

Astrid made a strangled noise. "No!"

"Oh, yes. Addie almost went for a swim. Off the bridge. Into the rocks." Hiccup swung his arms awkwardly as he tried to cope with this mental image. "Another thing I will see in my dreams tonight. But, Toothless," the dragon looked up, now a little more pleased as the human was catching on, "Toothless must have grabbed her, so… so… she isn't dead."

Adrianna giggled at this moment, and began to splash the water in the tub. Stoick decided to summarize events up until this point, "So, your children escaped from the house, one went mud-diving and then tried to become one with the furnace, before running through the village stark naked, and the other attempted to learn to dive before wandering into a forgotten netter trap."

"Yes, yes, I think that is exactly what happened," Astrid was now drying the children in an almost amazingly overprotective fashion. Was it possible to smother them with yak's fur accidentally?

Hiccup crossed the room to where the dragons were. "I feel like we should be really thankful right now for our dragons. I mean, if they weren't there then who knows what would have happened. Bud, just… sorry, for being so…"

"Accusatory?" Astrid suggested.

"Dense?" Gobber added.

"Thank you for summing that up." Hiccup turned back to the dragon, who looked a little too gleeful at his rider's expense at that moment. "But, yeah, thank you. For being there. And saving her. And you too, Stormfly, for protecting Finn. You both are… lifesavers. Literally."

"But the real question is how they got out." Gobber interrupted the scene. "I mean, Hiccup made that pen himself."

Everyone turned their eyes on the young father. He looked quickly from one accusing face to another. "Now, come on," he started over to where the pen was to inspect it. "It looks fine. I mean, I made this with the finest materials, and it's my own design. It's as solid as a rock." He patted it affectionately. The lock immediately popped open and the door swung out to where Stormfly's spikes were blocking it. "Okay, I admit, there may have been a few flaws in the design."

Astrid rolled her eyes slightly at this. Gobber released a loud guffaw of amusement as he stood up to slap Hiccup affectionately (or as Hiccup thought of it, violently) on the back. "Well, I can take care of it for you if you'd like. You should have come to me in the first place, Hiccup. I have lots of experience building gates. I even built the gate on your playpen."

Stoick cut in, "A lock which never worked."

"It did. You just didn't listen properly when I was explaining it. You can be a little hard of hearing sometimes."

"Story of my life," Hiccup muttered.

"What was that?" Stoick had barely caught the words, but knew fairly well what had been said.

Hiccup turned back to the pen. "Well, I guess I could tweak it a bit," he said slowly.

"A _bit_?" Astrid replied. "I want it to look and function like a prison. Give it to Gobber."

"I actually built prison gates once…" Gobber trailed off.

"Yes, it took me a while to figure that out," Stoick remarked. "I should show that to you one day."

Finn suddenly tugged on Astrid's arm and announced, "Mommy, hungry."

Astrid sighed. "I guess you would be after streaking all over the island."

"In more ways than one," Gobber added helpfully, earning a glower from Astrid.

"Time for lunch. Gobber, can you take that pen and fix the gate for us as soon as possible?"

"Sure. I'll be back tonight." Gobber folded the wooden pen up in a moment and put it under his arm. "I'd better start working on it before Finn decides to visit again."

"I should be going too," Stoick stood and accompanied Gobber out the door. "Even without hallucinations, I need to lie down for a while."

The parents, now left alone with their children, had a surreal moment of silence once the two older men had disappeared, wherein they attempted to find words now that everything had been explained.

"Well," Hiccup began awkwardly. "I guess I should go get the fish. Yeah…"

The twins, now sitting on the yak rug by the hearth, still swaddled in their drying cloths, giggled mischievously. Both parents had a strange feeling they would be staying home with their children for the rest of the foreseeable future.

* * *

Hiccup reached out to take the pen from Gobber's arms, a little shinier by the gate than it had been the last time. The instant the older Viking released it, Hiccup found himself hunched over, face nearly at the floor.

"Wow, um," he pulled his good foot out from under the now incredibly heavy contraption, "I see you've made some adjustments."

"Improvements more like. Your little terrors can't get out of this gate." He patted it affectionately. What had earlier been a simple turn lock was now a rather elaborate looking mechanism of bolts, spring-loaded pins, and latches.

"So… How do we open it?" Hiccup said slowly.

"Oh, it's easy. Well, not easy enough for the babies to figure out, but certainly nothing for the great inventor Hiccup!" Gobber removed a mallet and a long peg from his belt, which he then hammered into the soft dirt floor where the playpen had sat earlier. "Just bring it over here, lad."

Hiccup, who could barely move the heavy gate, strained to drag it across the floor. In fact he was going so painfully slowly that Astrid went to join him. Between the two of them they still only just managed to haul it to Gobber's side. As soon as it reached him, Gobber went about stationing the gate.

"This is the same design I used for your playpen, Hiccup." Gobber said proudly. "I found the designs on the mess on my floor. I hadn't been able to find them for years." Gobber tested the lock and the gate swung open easily. "It shouldn't take too much practice to get used to it." He closed it again. "Why don't you try it?"

Hiccup stepped up to the gate. The whole area by the lock was now reinforced with iron. A large rectangular locking mechanism took up the first third or so of the gate, which had a series of three latches to be flipped open, as well as a handle. At the bottom of the gate, a metal stopper had been dug into the floor, which needed to be pulled up before the door would open. Hiccup went about opening the latches, and pulling open the stopper, but even then when he grabbed the handle he found that the gate would not open.

"Uh, Gobber," he said slowly.

"Hiccup, you're doing it all wrong," Gobber announced, clapping the young man on the back for the second time that day (Astrid would discover bruises from this later). "You have to press the button and then pull."

Gobber put the tip of his hook on a painfully small button on the top of the lock box. Hiccup felt the locking mechanism give way.

"Yeah, that was completely obvious." He hauled back on the handle, but the gate refused to budge.

"Put your back into it!" Gobber cheered. Hiccup took the handle by both hands and pulled with all his might. The door crept a few centimeters out of its frame. At that point, Astrid grabbed her husband's elbows and added her strength to the battle. The door was now opened about three inches—still not wide enough for a child to fit through.

"Hmm… I didn't think the spring-loaded hinges created that much force." Gobber said thoughtfully. Toothless helpfully grabbed the back of Astrid's skirt and pulled. Hiccup and Astrid slid across the floor as the gate came open. The twins were giggling at the spectacle from the corner of the room where they had been playing.

"Well, that wasn't overkill at all." Hiccup said, releasing the door. It snapped shut with alarming speed.

"No kid is ever going to escape this baby. I've named her Edna. It sounds like a nursemaid for some reason."

Hiccup and Astrid both fitted Gobber with their most astonished look. "I am so glad I am not being kept in the prison you built locks for." Astrid said finally.

Gobber glowed at this assumed praise.

"Well, gee, Gobber," Hiccup began slowly. "I think that, maybe… we might have some trouble with this gate. Seeing as it takes practically the whole family to open it."

"You'll get the hang of it." Gobber said cheerfully. "It just takes some practice. At least you'll never have to worry about accidents with Edna on the lookout." He turned and headed to the door. "You'll thank me later. A worry free childhood is worth the investment of a few afternoons of practice. I'd better get going though. I left the furnace running."

"So…" Hiccup looked at Astrid inquisitively. "What do you say to putting this in storage until they're going through puberty?"

Astrid smiled. "We can just put them in overtop. So long as they don't learn to climb over it, it shouldn't really be an issue. And Gobber is right; it's nice to know they can't get out without us here."

Hiccup cast a look at the gate. "Well, I guess that's true."

* * *

"And we never did figure out how to open that gate easily." Hiccup said. The twins stared at the gate, and then back at their father.

"How did you put it upstairs?" Finn finally asked.

"Your grandfather. And Gobber. We let them do the heavy lifting."

"The _really_ heavy lifting." Astrid clarified.

The twins stared at the gate incredulously. Finally Finn piped up, "I never ran around Berk naked."

"Yeah, you two are exaghertat-exagglebate-making it up."

Hiccup smiled fondly at his daughter. "Well, you all can ask Gobber."

"Or the elderly couple who confirmed the location of Finn's mole." Astrid suggested.

Finn turned pink as his sister giggled. "I still don't believe it," he said firmly.

The door suddenly banged open as Gobber came in to collect the gate. "Hello, Haddocks!" He said. "Ah, Edna, old thing! It's been such a long time. You know, this reminds me," he turned to Finn, "did I ever tell you about the time you ran around Berk in nothing but your booties?"

Finn scowled as his face reddened further. "Shut up!" he cried as he stomped up the stairs towards his room. A moment later is slammed shut.

"Did I say something wrong?" Gobber asked Hiccup with great concern.

"No, no, he's just… going through an awkward phase. Early."

"Well, maybe he'll be like you, Hiccup. You're still in an awkward stage." Gobber gathered the pen up under his arms.

After Gobber had left, Astrid shared a meaningful look with her husband. "You know, I'm almost going to miss Edna," she said. "We had a lot of good memories with that thing."

"Yeah," Hiccup began sarcastically, "and a lot of injuries. I think I threw my back out trying to open that thing."

"It did its job pretty well, though." Astrid continued. "They never did escape it again."

"That we know of."

"And it survived to be given to a new family." Astrid finished.

Hiccup stared at the empty place where the playpen had stood. "Are you sure we shouldn't have kept that for when they go through puberty?"

"Hiccup…" Astrid half sighed, half laughed.

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?" The two adults had almost forgotten the presence of their daughter. "What's puberty?"

They exchanged a look.

"I think that's a topic for another time." Astrid said hurriedly. Hiccup had begun to change color in a similar way to Finn.

"But when will we go through it? What happens?" Adrianna continued to pry.

Hiccup's face was decidedly hot by now, and he decided that this was the time to make his getaway. "You know, Astrid, I… I have… that thing. Yeah, I have that thing I have to go do… in the place. Where there are things. To do."

"Coward!" Astrid called after her retreating husband as he disappeared out of the house, followed quickly by his dragon. She could hear them taking off outside.

"But moooooom!"

He was going to pay for leaving her with this.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed this short story! The next one is already written and quite hilarious. Like I said, this is not meant to be dramatic! a__**myboomerang**__ and I are having a great time!_

_Don't forget to review!_

_~KateMarie999_


	4. The Iron Pants

_This story is a treat for those who have read __Unexpected__. It takes place between the birth and the Welcoming Ceremony. Kind of an in-between tale._

* * *

**A Few Tweaks: The Iron Pants**

* * *

"Mom's gonna love this," Finn announced proudly as he looked over his creation. He had spent the last several hours painstakingly sanding down the rough edges of the small wooden weapons rack before he had given it to his sister to paint. Their father had come to them only about a week before to remind them of their mother's upcoming birthday. "But why'd you have to go and make it all _girly_?"

"It's not _girly_, and in any case mom's a girl!" Adrianna retorted. The weapons rack was a beautiful, bright baby blue, and decorated with small rose colored polka dots. "Where should we put it so she sees it when she comes back?"

Finn furrowed his brow in deep thought. His bright blue eyes scanned the room for a perfect location. Somewhere it would be seen the moment his mother returned from her outing to the Academy.

"Over there." he said at last, pointing to a window close to the front door. The only things currently occupying the space were a pair of ugly, oddly shaped metal flowerpots containing wilting herbs. "Then she can grab her weapons before she goes out."

Adrianna brightened at this prospect and immediately ran to the location. She was too short to reach the place her brother had pointed out but she wasn't about to let _that_ stop her. Standing on tiptoe, she strained her body as far as it would reach. She was still several inches short of her goal.

"Get me something to stand on!" she grunted, trying to raise the rack just a little bit higher.

Finn immediately grabbed the first object he saw: a rickety old bucket that was missing a small piece of its brim. This, he reasoned, was the perfect stair for his sister. He flipped it upside down and pushed it to her feet. She immediately stood on it and strained even more to hang the weapons rack on a nail in the wood. A little higher… a little more…

"Mom's coming!" Finn shouted, his eyes focused on his mother's flying form coming into view outside the window. Toothless, who was watching them from the far corner of the room, stood in response to the rising excitement in Finn's voice. "Hurry up!"

"Don't rush me!" Adrianna snapped irritably.

Just as she finally managed to hang the rack, she took a small step back and the bucket toppled over. Her arms flailed about, desperately trying to grab onto something to support her weight, but they only managed to find one of the metal flowerpots, which she knocked in front of the door. Toothless lunged forward just in time to catch her on his nose before she hit the floor.

This was the sight which met Astrid as she opened the door: her daughter resting, one foot on a broken bucket, body leaning backwards across a dragon's head; the sound of her son's raucous laughter; and the contents of a flowerpot strewn across the floor.

"Well, I see that you all have had a quiet morning." Astrid commented as she stepped over the mess into her house. A sudden glint of silver caught her attention, and she stooped to remove something from the mess. "Why is there an axe head in my flower pot?" Had she been looking his way, she may have noticed Finn cock his head in what could only be described as baffled recognition. Adrianna straightened herself and ran to hug her mother. Right before she reached her, the girl's foot caught on the flowerpot and she tripped into her mother's arms.

"Yep, you are definitely your father's child." Astrid deadpanned as she caught her daughter.

"That hurt! Why is it so heavy?" Adrianna asked, rubbing her sore foot.

Finn walked over and picked up the indestructible home garden. It featured an oddly squished oval opening at the top, and expanded into a wider base. A thick leather piece at the bottom of the container had flipped over in the fall, revealing two rather sizable holes and a metal covered water drain.

"Mom," he asked slowly, "what are these big holes for? Roots?"

Astrid had to stifle a sudden laugh as she looked over at what her son what inspecting. Over the years she had forgotten about the awkward matching contraptions she had re-imagined as flowerpots.

"Unfortunately not," she replied, taking it from him and turning it over in her hands, allowing the memories to well up. "These actually were for legs."

"_Legs?!_" The twins managed to say this in unison, both utterly aghast at the idea.

"What could fit legs in that?" Finn asked.

"What would wear that?" Adrianna countered.

"Well…" Astrid began slowly, "it was actually a present from your father for my birthday right after you were born."

"Daddy gave you flowerpots?" Adrianna had a hard time imagining her father presenting her mother with something so mundane, not to mention… housewife-ish.

"No,_ I_ gave me flowerpots. Your father gave me something… different."

Finn wrinkled his nose slightly. "But you said—"

Astrid gestured to the couch along the far wall. "Sit down, you'll enjoy this." She grabbed a separate chair and sat down with the flowerpot in front of them, ready for storytelling. "Now, you two may not know this, but after you were born we spent about two weeks staying with the healer while you were growing and I was healing. During that time, your father…"

* * *

Hiccup's hands were still cold from washing them in the bucket of icy water beside the table in the healer's hut. He was tempted to put them on his sleeping wife to warm them, but even still sore and immobile from her traumatic birthing the week before she could pack a mean punch. He made do by wrapping the bandage that had been around his left hand pre-washing around both. So long as he was careful not to jostle the fractured bone in his hand, he should be able to have a comfortable night. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep a loud, screeching wail echoed through the hut.

"Hiccup…" Astrid moaned.

"No, that would be Finn." Hiccup replied, pulling his cold hands back from within the warm bandages. "Because I just finished cleaning his sister up he decided it was obviously his turn."

"Well, you know that parents aren't supposed to play favorites," Astrid muttered, snuggling back into the bed. "He's going to wake up half the village."

"Yes, waking up only me would just show a total lack of ambition for a future chief. Leadership runs in his veins, so he should start off life bringing the whole village together at the crack of dawn."

Hiccup pulled his screaming son from the crib in the center of the room and headed into the larger healing room in the center of the hut, where he could close the door and leave his wife in some peace. A low fire was still burning in the center of the room, and he could hear the elderly healer snoring in the room adjacent. He placed the baby on the table they had been using for changing diapers and began to untie the knots holding the wrap in place.

"It's like the two of you plan to do this," he continued his quiet tirade. "Within seconds of each other, I swear." He pulled the dirty diaper out from under his son, began cleaning him, and trying to center him on the clean diaper laid out for him. "I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this, how long has it been now… A few days, no, wait, it's been…" He paused suddenly as realization rushed over him, "it's been a week, little guy! Happy firstweekday! No, wait, that doesn't sound right."

The baby cooed and wiggled excitedly on the new diaper. "Yeah, that's right," Hiccup said cheerfully, smiling at the little boy, "celebrate! You've made it a whole week with me changing these disgusting things. Not to mention having me and Astrid as your parents, well, Astrid is—" He froze suddenly. "Having a birthday. Tomorrow, actually. I was a little preoccupied with your birthday that, I totally—oh dear." He started drumming his fingers on the table anxiously. He only had twenty-four hours to come up with a brilliant idea for his wife's first married birthday, not to mention parental birthday, and create it, and… Oh dear. "What should I do? I mean, what do you think she'd like? I mean other than weapons, but frankly I think we have enough weapons. Actually, I feel like giving her more weapons might be dangerous. What about something to do with, you know, becoming a parent? Something that would be meaningful to this new adventure, this new… Do you have any ideas, Finn?" He leaned down over his son just in time for something wet and very warm to hit him full on in the face.

"Oh gross. That was… just… oh gross." He wiped his face off with another diaper from the clean pile in the corner of the table. "Well, thank you for your suggestion Finn, but I think that we've had enough of that. Oh, gross. I definitely need a bath now. And I definitely can't go back to bed."

After Hiccup had managed to get Finn cleaned up and put back in his crib, he headed out into the dawning day to begin drawing water for a bath, still muttering to himself.

"If that is any indication of my future experiences as a parent, then there has got to be an easier way to deal with this. This is exhausting." He pulled off his night shirt and dunked his head and upper body into the water, trying to scrub away any remains of his son's suggestion.

Suggestion.

Wait.

Hiccup yanked his head out of the water as quickly as he had plunged it in. He had an idea. A brilliant, completely foolproof idea. Without even bothering to go inside and find a clean tunic, he turned on his remaining heel and bolted off across the village, not stopping until he had barged into Gobber's home.

"Gobber!" He shouted as he came through, forgetting himself completely in his excitement. "Gobber, I have a wonderful idea, but I need your help because of my hand!"

He heard something flying through the air towards him, and a moment later there was a dull _thud_ as an axe imbedded itself into the wall next to his head. Immediately afterward, a gruff hand came out of the near darkness and grabbed him around the neck. "Eeeck! Gobber! Gobber! I can't breathe!"

Gobber, still half-asleep, seemed to come to some realization that the strange bluish blob in front of him was actually Hiccup's face, and relinquished his hold of the young man's neck. "Great Thor, Hiccup, what were you trying to do, sneaking up a man in his skivvies?"

"Well… that was an awkward question…" Hiccup rubbed his neck. For only possessing one hand, Gobber still could manage to throttle relatively well.

"So what was it you wanted so much you had to wake a man up?" Gobber asked, thunking across the room to find an appropriate hand for the day.

"I had a brilliant idea. Get dressed and come to the forge, I need your help with something."

"I could say the same to you. What are you all wet and naked for?"

"Nak—oh, I forgot to put another shirt on. Yeah. You don't want to know." Gobber raised an eyebrow in a mischievous way, "No, not that, it was Finn, and, yeah, it was messy."

"Ah, well, I think similar things used to happen to your father," Gobber stated patiently as he began to screw on a hook, "there was this one time I was put in charge of changing you at a war meeting because your father said—"

"No, no, I just don't even want to hear this story." Hiccup interrupted. "I'm just going to, yeah, go get a shirt. I'll meet you in the forge."

Gobber yawned and began to prepare for the day as the door closed behind his former apprentice. This was going to be-

* * *

"Genius. Your husband is a genius, Astrid."

Astrid cocked her head inquisitively from where she was sitting up in her bed, still cradling Adrianna in her arms and using her foot to rock the bedside cradle in which Finn was drifting off to sleep. She had just finished nursing Adrianna when Gobber and Hiccup had burst into the room after being locked up for almost a full day at the forge. She was feeling distinctly annoyed.

"Where have you _been_? Bed empty, no note, prosthetic gone, out of my _mind_ with worry! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III you'd better have a brilliant explanation for this one!"

Hiccup suddenly felt rather small and distinctly threatened. "Yeah, uh, about that… I had an idea." He found it difficult to look at his seething wife all of the sudden.

"You mean an idea _other_ than abandoning me with your week old children?!"

"Yeah, another idea, not that, no, wait, I didn't have that idea to begin with, this is a totally separate and completely non-abandoning idea."

Astrid was not convinced. Hiccup was beginning to feel as though this may not go exactly as he had anticipated. "Well, umm, I bet you don't remember what today is!" He began.

"My birthday."

"Oh, so you do remember."

"Yes, I do generally remember my birthday, Hiccup." Astrid's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, well, I thought maybe with the other birthdays it had slipped your mind…" He almost felt disappointed.

"I was planning on apologizing to my mother when she came by today. Then I was going to ask her to babysit while I tracked down and killed my errant husband."

"Can we not do the killing part?" Hiccup asked, definitely feeling quite sheepish at this point. "In any case, I really think that you're going to like this idea. It will totally make up for… my… leaving… Not that I'm leaving you, but for not returning, and… And… Gobber, just give me the present."

Gobber, who had backed up to allow the couple more privacy for their bickering, stepped forward, carrying with him two fabric wrapped packages. He handed one to Hiccup and turned again to Astrid, "You really are going to like this, I think, Astrid. It's a stroke of—"

"Genius. I heard."

Hiccup stepped forward with the package out in front of him like an offering and placed it on her lap before leaping out of the way, just in case. Astrid lifted Adrianna up to her shoulder so that she could free one hand to tug the fabric wrapping out of the way.

"What... is it?" She asked slowly, looking at the oddly shaped metal… thing in her lap.

"It's a diaper." Hiccup said, rather proudly. "The only one we'll ever need!"

"Isn't it great?" Gobber interjected. "Hiccup thought of it himself."

"That doesn't surprise me," Astrid groaned. She lifted it inquisitively to get a better look and frowned a second afterward. "Hiccup, this thing weighs more than both our kids combined!"

"Well, we made it a bit big so they can grow into it some." He headed towards the crib. "Here, let me show you with Finn."

"NO!" Astrid dropped the "diaper" and lunged for the crib, grabbing the second baby out of it. Her hair fell haphazardly around her face as she held the two small bundles tightly to her chest. "You are _not_ going to put that _thing_ on either one of my children!"

"Oh, they're _your_ children now. Until just yesterday they were mine every time they needed their diapers changed."

"What on earth are you thinking?" Astrid spat at him.

"Come on, let me show you how it works—"

"Not on them!"

"Okay, then, just let me demonstrate on this… doll! Yeah, one second," he reached out and grabbed an almost life-sized baby doll which one of the women in the village had given as a present to Adrianna, and he deposited it within the metal contraption. "So, as you can see, this is what it looks like when it's on a baby, well, not a baby per se—"

"And how exactly are we going to fit clothes over that?" Astrid gestured to the gaping distance between the doll and the edge of the diaper. "It's huge!"

"They can just wear big clothes."

"And how will it stay on?" Astrid shot back.

"Well…" Hiccup looked at the loose diaper, knowing that if he shifted to holding the doll instead it would hit the ground like a rock. "We can work on that. Minor problem. I am open to suggestions."

"How about using _cloth diapers_?"

"Come on, just give it a try. It'll grow on you."

Astrid rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, the great thing about this is you never have to take them off. If they get dirty, you just wash them out from within. You see, there's a drain down here," he pulled a little switch on the back of the diaper, which caused a small piece of metal inside the diaper to pull up in the front, revealing a drain in the crotch of the diaper. "And then you can run water through it. Shake it a little bit, maybe add some soap. The baby gets a bath, the diaper gets cleaned—it does two things at once! Isn't that convenient? Not to mention, sanitary. Let me demonstrate…" He grabbed the nearest vessel of water and tipped into the diaper beside the doll. The drain worked perfectly, just as he had planned, but Astrid seemed more focused on the negatives of the diaper than the positives.

"It comes out the legs."

"Yeah, well, I mean, they did need to be a bit bigger so the twins can grow into them. We can put some leather or something around them to help… plug it up."

"And what do we do if the kids 'grow into them' too much and we cannot get them off anymore?" Astrid was still skeptical.

"Oh, well, I planned for that." Hiccup looked especially proud of this feature. "Give me one moment, you have to sort of jimmy this thing in the back… But just think, Astrid" he positively glowed at her, "they won't be able to get hurt if they fall on their bottoms while learning to walk, we won't have to deal with dirty diapers, bath times will be a cinch, I mean… this is perfect." There was a loud click as he set his escape hatch into motion, and the back of the diaper opened and slid to the side perfectly. However, the accomplishment was marred by an equally loud ripping noise as the doll's legs detached and fell to the floor. Astrid's eyes followed them in horror.

"You wanted to put _THAT_ on our children?! Do you want sympathy?!"

"Ah, well, no," Hiccup looked at the diaper in his hands awkwardly. The back panels had done as he had designed them to, and slid into the diaper, which, as a matter of fact, had bypassed and closed the leg holes completely, ripping off the doll's legs. "I guess there are a few kinks left to work out."

"A FEW?!" Astrid was enraged, and was clutching the two crying infants tightly to her chest. "They can't move in them—"

Hiccup interrupted, "Well, it does make it easier when they start crawling away to keep them in one place—"

"they will get sores from never being properly dried—"

"Well, we actually thought of attaching some sort of funnel and having the dragons—" Gobber tried to add in.

"they will get pinched, or fall out of them, or grow into them, and they'll lose their legs—"

"I'm pretty sure I can fix all of those!" Hiccup yelled, trying to get a word in edgewise.

"What in Thor's name convinced you that this was a good idea in _any way_?!" Astrid shouted over him. By this point both of the babies were crying rather frantically, and Gobber was the only person in the room who did not look like he was in the middle of battle.

Hiccup fell silent, feeling somewhat hurt. "I was just trying…"

"To _kill_ our children?!"

"To make things easier! You know, make it so that it was easier and we didn't get… peed on… or anything." Hiccup was struggling to get his thoughts out of his mouth, or even truly coherent within his head. He had gotten a rather pathetic amount of sleep since the twins had been born.

Astrid blinked in confusion. "If you're worried about… pee… then you just… put something up in front of him while you're changing him."

Hiccup's face fell. "Yeah… I guess… that does make sense."

There was an awkward silence punctuated by the wails of their newborns. Hiccup averted Astrid's gaze, feeling distinctly sheepish.

"Well... umm..." he finally said. "I guess I will go... uhh... work on your other gift." he shrugged awkwardly and shuffled into the other room.

Gobber felt a little out of place in the couple's argument so he handed the second diaper to Astrid with a gruff, "well I wouldn't put them on the kids yet but, you know, a few tweaks and..." Astrid was glaring at him now. "You know, he really was trying to be helpful."

Astrid sighed deeply. "I know. But does he have to try so... so..." she struggled to find the right word. "So _hard_?"

"That's just Hiccup. I'd'a thought you'd have known that when you married him." Gobber stated. "Well... I'll head back to the forge now. Happy birthday, Astrid. Goodbye, little guys."

The older Viking slunk out of the room, leaving Astrid with two crying babies and heavy metal contraptions for which she had no use. Just as the door seemed to close, it slammed back open as Hiccup flew in, a dagger outstretched.

"Gods, Hiccup, are you _trying_ to kill our children?" Astrid jerked back in surprise, holding both babies even closer to her chest.

"No! No! It's for you!" her husband exclaimed, brandishing the sharp object far too enthusiastically.

She placed the babies in their crib and reached out to accept the dagger. It was breathtakingly beautiful; the hilt was hand carved and engraved with her name and the tang was perfectly balanced.

"It's perfect." she gasped. "But either you're the fastest blacksmith in the world or you made this a while ago."

"Oh. Yeah. Well you remember that argument we had before the kids were born?" Hiccup scratched the back of his head. "The one where I lost my temper and said something completely inappropriate and offensive."

"Oh yes, I remember that. Vaguely." Astrid deadpanned.

"Right. Well I made that for you as an apology. But when I was looking to give it to you, I got a bit... distracted." Hiccup continued.

"By my kidnapping?"

"That was a contributing factor, yes." Hiccup shrugged. "And what with... things happening," he jerked his head toward the crib. "I kind of forgot until now."

"Well... I guess I can find _some_ use for these." Astrid said, gesturing toward the iron diapers.

"I knew you'd warm up to them!"

"As flowerpots." she finished.

"Oh... well... I guess that works too." Hiccup remarked.

She reached up, grasped him by the tunic, and pulled him in for a kiss. "Thank you. For trying."

* * *

Both children were laughing uproariously as Astrid finished her story. She had held the former diaper up to demonstrate its multiple features as she reminisced.

"Did daddy really think that was going to work?" Adrianna giggled, attempting to stifle her hiccups.

"Well... you guys kept him pretty busy so he didn't get a lot of sleep." Astrid explained, looking at the iron contraption fondly.

"So dad invented that diaper changing barrier... because of me?" Finn asked incredulously, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Oh yes. You went through a bit of a leaky phase until you were outhouse trained."

Adrianna's giggles grew louder, as did her hiccups while Finn's face reddened slightly.

At that very moment, Hiccup came sauntering in, his hands full of some new contraption that he had just completed. Upon seeing the main character in their story, his family's laughter became much more raucous.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked, glancing at each guffawing face.

"Oh I was just telling them about your original intention for our flowerpots." Astrid informed him.

"Oh... well thank you for undermining their confidence in me as a parent." Hiccup remarked dryly.

Adrianna hopped to her feet and threw her arms around her father. "It's okay, daddy. I still love you." she said cheerfully through yet another hiccup.

"I'm sure they love you even more since they can now appreciate still having both of their feet." Astrid added.

"Yes, thank you for bringing that up. I'd very nearly managed to bury that particular blunder in my subconscious." Hiccup placed the contraption down so he could properly hug his daughter. "For the record, Gobber still thinks it was a brilliant idea."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "That's why Gobber is not a parent."

"That reminds me, why doesn't Uncle Gobber babysit us anymore?" Finn asked.

"Well... that's a story for a different day." Hiccup smiled and affectionately patted his newest invention. "Now who wants me to turn this thing on and show you how it works?"

Both children screamed in horror and bolted from the room. Hiccup looked slightly offended. "But... but it's not dangerous! Not if you use it right!" he called after them but it was to no avail.

"It's okay. I just wanted them to leave us alone." Astrid pulled her husband in for a kiss.

"But you know, this is a pretty cool invention. I call it a stitching machine and it'll make saddle repair so much-"

"Hiccup!" Astrid shouted suddenly, making her husband jump.

"Huh?"

"Just shut up and kiss me." she whispered.

But just as he was leaning in, she pulled back. "Okay now you're just confusing me."

"What is that?" Astrid asked, looking at something just over his shoulder.

"I just told you, it's a stitching-"

"No, that. Above the window." Astrid pointed to the blue and pink object hanging above the remaining flowerpot.

Hiccup turned around to inspect the object. "Looks like a weapon's rack. But I didn't make it. And I sure didn't paint it those colors."

"Yeah, looks like Anna got her hands on... oh." Astrid smiled. "I think our kids made that for me."

"Wow!" Hiccup exclaimed, inspecting the rack further. "Look at the detail on that. They did a great job."

Astrid reached down and removed Hiccup's much more satisfactory present out of a sheath on her belt. She placed it on their children's masterpiece. The moment she let go of the dagger, the hook gave way and the weapons rack went clattering to the floor.

'Yep. They really _are_ your kids."

"Well I never thought they weren't but now I might worry about it some." Hiccup said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sure the rack just needs a few tweaks." Astrid winked at him and pulled him in for a kiss.

They later believed it was a good thing the kids weren't in the house.

* * *

_As you can probably tell, there are a few more Hiccup inventions on the way, some that work and some that don't. I hope you've enjoyed this story. __**amyboomerang**__ and I laughed very hard while writing it._

_~KateMarie999_


	5. Grandma's Bonnet

_What happens when Gobber babysits? Quite a few things actually. To brand new future fans of mine, take a look at the references to __Under Pressure__ in this story!_

* * *

**Gobber'd: Grandma's Bonnet**

* * *

"Ah, ah, ah, put the sword down, boy!" Gobber chided from the other side of the forge.

"How'd you know I was holding it if you didn't turn around?" Finn asked with a scowl as he reluctantly obeyed.

"You're talking to the man who spent most days with your father when he was a little older than you. I see _everything_ that goes on in here." Gobber replied, still not looking up from his task. "Mind you, he was less likely _playing_ with the sword and more likely trying to turn it into something."

Adrianna grinned at the sight of her brother being scolded. She certainly had more common sense than that. Instead she started sorting through baskets of equipment under the workbench, looking for something to play with. Their parents had gone with the other grown-ups to search for a fishing boat that had not returned after the latest storm. With the freeze about to set in, they needed every fish and able bodied man available. Except for one. Gobber had been given babysitting duty. _Again._

Admittedly, he wasn't the worst babysitter, in fact he was great with kids, however he always felt a little overwhelmed when it came to watching the twins, though he wasn't certain if that was to do with the stress of nowadays or the traumatizing flashbacks of babysitting gone by. He was just going over to the other end of the forge to pry a mace out of his almost-great-nephew's fingers when the girl uncovered a suspicious, bright pink bonnet.

"Umm... Uncle Gobber... why do you have a girl's hat in your toolbox?" she asked, holding it up and inspecting it. "It has flowers in it."

Gobber crossed the room with amazing speed for a man of his age and snatched the offending article form her hands. "Now, you don't need to go looking at that."

"Oh." Adrianna's face fell. "Shouldn't you throw it away, then?"

"NO!" he exclaimed a little too quickly, holding the bonnet several feet over her outstretched arms.

"Is there something you need to tell us?" Finn said, acting a little _too _old for his age with his hands on his hips in a way that was strongly reminiscent of Astrid.

"No, I... you really don't remember this, do you?" Gobber asked, sounding, quite possibly, a little bit hurt.

Adrianna raised an eyebrow. "Should I?"

"Yes, considering I wore it every time I used to babysit you." Gobber replied with amazing nonchalance.

"Umm... why?" Finn asked, finally distracted from the dangerous weapons in the corner, albeit not in the way Gobber would have wanted.

Taking advantage of the opportunity to distract them from further mischief, Gobber gestured to a pair of stools by the door. Finn, still giving his almost-great-uncle a suspicious glance, slowly sat down on one while his sister hastened to the other, excited to hear another Uncle Gobber story.

"It was actually a lot like today. Your parents had to rush out because several Outcast ships had been spotted near our beaches. Your Poppy did what he always had done when your father was little. Dumped the kids on me." Adrianna's face fell. "Not that I minded, of course. I loved every second of it. Well... almost every second..."

* * *

"Now they're not allowed to play with sharp objects." Astrid said, handing a wiggling Finn to Gobber.

"Yes, I could have figured that much out myself." Gobber deadpanned, having a lot more trouble than he expected keeping the young boy in his arms.

"Well we wanted to make sure." Hiccup said. "Oh and they need to be tucked into bed by eight. Addie might fuss a bit but trust me, she'll fall asleep. Eventually."

"Do you really think you'll be gone that long?" Gobber asked incredulously.

"We aren't sure." Astrid dismissed his concern. "And by the way, they will tell you they are hungry right at bedtime. You can give them a little milk but don't let them have any solid food. Anna will be up all night and trying to tuck Finn into bed will become next to impossible."

"Got it." Gobber nodded. "You'd better go before those Outcasts get here."

"Right. Keep them safe. Don't let them go outside." Hiccup reminded his mentor. "You'll never find them. Remember last time?"

"Vividly. Trust me, I learned my lesson. Go." Gobber commanded, pointing a rather sharp looking hook at the door.

"Yeah. Umm, you might want to change hands. You're going to poke someone's eyes out." Hiccup said, eyeing the offending hook suspiciously.

"Not to worry! I have my special hammerhead yak attachment!" Gobber explained gleefully, grabbing a stuffed yak out of his bag.

"Okay. We'll just go now." Astrid raised an eyebrow at the attachment but decided not to comment. "Kids, be good for Gobber, okay?"

The two three-year-olds nodded quickly, and then dispersed to separate areas of the house to continue playing with what they had been playing with before their new guardian had arrived. In Adrianna's case, it was a soft doll with restitched legs; in Finn's case it appeared to be a pile of dirt that he was molding from one unremarkable blob to another. Gobber glanced from one quiet child to the other and smiled in a rather self-satisfied way. This was looking like a terribly easy way to spend an afternoon. He settled down on the couch and began flipping through the old, ratty Book of Dragons which Hiccup was constantly revising. The pages seemed so much more worn out since he had read it as a lad, and most of Hiccup's updated information was squeezed alongside the outdated pieces. He secretly wished he could tell Hiccup that if he left this book in the Great Hall, where it was meant to be stored, a little more often, then he would soon have the new copy which Stoick was working so meticulously on recreating for him as a gift.

Just as Gobber was getting to the pages on the Snap Trapper (which he still considered to be a rather dangerous beastie), he felt a tug on his hammerhead yak. Adrianna was standing before him, innocently eyeing his replacement limbs.

"Where did your hand go?" she asked.

Deciding that dismemberment was probably not the most suitable discussion topic with a three year old, Gobber replied "it fell off."

"How?"

"Well, it was an odd thing that. One day I woke up, and I just didn't have a hand anymore."

"What about your leg?" She continued unabashedly.

"Well, it felt awfully lonely without me hand, so it decided to go after it and try and convince it to come back. Then it didn't." Gobber explained.

Adrianna's mouth opened with a little "oooooh." She seemed to consider this for a moment. "Did daddy's leg fall off?"

Gobber nodded enthusiastically. "It just happens sometimes."

This was the wrong thing to say. Adrianna's eyes suddenly filled with fear. "Is my leg going to fall off too?"

"Eh?" Gobber felt like this was beginning to backfire. "No, of course not."

"But you said they fall off. Is my leg going to go where daddy's leg is?" Tears were now welling up to accompany the fear. "I don't want my leg to leave me! Don't let my leg leave me!"

"It's not going to leave you!" Gobber tried to reassure her between hiccups. "They don't just get up and leave, they have to... um..." He decided to change the subject. "Why, look at this! A hammerhead yak! Have I ever told you about the time I met a hammerhead yak?"

The trick did not manage to redirect the sobbing girl's attention. Gobber thought that expanding his audience a little might help to soothe her nerves. He turned to invite her twin to join her for the story only to realize that he was no longer in the corner now covered with mud balls. In fact, he was not in sight at all. He stood abruptly and searched the house desperately with his eyes, finally catching sight of the child teetering precariously on a makeshift set of steps made of books and buckets, reaching out to grab hold of a half-sharpened axe which had been abandoned on the table. Gobber lunged for the little boy, catching his hand just before it managed to close around the shaft of the weapon.

"Oh no you don't laddie." He hauled the boy off of the bucket and dropped him back on solid ground. "Now, I have a wonderful idea! Let's all play together for a little while. What do you want to play?"

"Wawior tackle!" Finn's arms wrapped firmly around both of Gobber's legs. "I've taught you!"

Deciding to play along, Gobber 'fell' to the ground, allowing the little boy to jump onto his chest to pin him to the floor. "Ack! I've been taken down! What are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to... tickle you!" Finn did his best at tickling Gobber, though his lack of subtlety did nothing to actually irritate the older Viking's nervous system, and felt rather more like a muddy massage. Gobber pretended that the whole affair was torturous, and was happy when Adrianna decided to join in, poking him in the arm with a nervous giggle. The children entertained themselves with this pastime for a little while before tiring of it and deciding to change games.

"Let's play famiwy!" Adrianna said enthusiastically.

"Can I be the wawior?" Finn asked, grabbing a small wooden sword from the floor by the couch.

"I'll be da mommy." Adrianna agreed. Gobber nodded. This sounded like it would keep them occupied. Adrianna had begun to dig her own props out from various corners of the room, returning every once in a while with a spare doll (or baby, as she called them), until she finally returned with a pink bonnet.

"I fwound it." She announced happily. "Dis is for you, Unca Dobbew!"

"For me?" He asked incredulously.

"You'll be da Gwandma." Since Gobber was still sitting on the floor from the tickling game, she decided to help him into the bonnet by pulled it onto his head over his helmet. "Hmm," she backed up a little as she looked at it. "It doesn't look wight yet."

"Well, perhaps because I'm not a Grandma." Gobber offered hopefully. Adrianna shook her head and looked around the room, her eyes settling on the flowerpots in the window. "Unca Dobbew, can I have the fwowers?"

Gobber did not see any harm in letting her have a few of the many blooms pouring out of the containers, so he stood up and collected a handful of the flowers for her.

"Sit down." She directed. Gobber frowned a little, but did as he was told. The little girl went about tucking the flowers into the rim of the hat with great precision. "This is Grandma Dobbew's special hat that she got from the dwagon fairy. When she wears it she can fwy."

"I can fly now, can I?" Gobber said. "You know, Anna, I don't know what kind of games your father plays with you, but I really don't fit the role of a grandma."

Adrianna stuck her lower lip out in a pout, which fortunately for her Gobber misunderstood as the second coming of tears. He quickly reassessed his opinion of being the grandmother in Adrianna's family and announced his revised decision. Adrianna was thrilled.

"Now we hafta wock the baby!" Adrianna squealed in excitement. "And sing hew to sweep!"

Gobber wasn't so sure this was a good idea but he was even more sure that he didn't want his almost-grand-niece crying again. And so he reluctantly accepted the baby and began rocking it.

"You hafta sing!" Adrianna reminded him, crossing her arms.

"Oh. Of course. Umm... I've got me axe and I've got me mace and I love me wife her..."

"Not dat song! A wuwwaby!" Adrianna giggled.

"I'm a Viking. We don't sing lullabies" Gobber said, beginning to feel slightly awkward.

"Daddy sings dem." the girl said, sounding like she was explaining this to someone half her age.

"Yes well that's your father. He does all kinds of things Vikings don't do." Gobber rolled his eyes.

"So does Poppy. And Antie Wuffnut!" Adrianna cupped her hand near her mouth and whispered into Gobber's ear. "Her wuwwabies are scawy."

"Yes I'm sure they are." Gobber took a deep breath and faced the "baby" in his arms. "The dragon fairy wanted to climb a mountain tall..."

A loud hacking noise interrupted Gobber's off key and improvised lullaby. Finn was on his knees, half a plum still grasped tightly in his juice covered hands. Gobber immediately sprang to his leg and hobbled over to the choking child. Admittedly he had never dislodged anything from anyone's throat but now seemed like a good enough time to learn. After smacking Finn on the back a few times, he decided that this was not an effective method of extricating the foreign object from the boy's throat. He grabbed Finn around the middle and heaved upward. The plum's pit came flying out of Finn's throat and he began to gasp loudly. Satisfied that he would not have to explain to the boy's parents how a pitted fruit had sent their son to Valhalla, he turned to the daughter, who was now sobbing loudly.

"It's okay, Anna, it's okay. He's just fine." Gobber clapped her brother on the back and he fell forward. Ignoring the male child, who was now sprawled out on the ground but otherwise okay, he focused his attention to the female. "Everything is going to be fine." He bent down to grab the baby doll from the ground when both he and the girl were dismayed to hear a loud ripping noise.

The doll's arm and leg, as Gobber had so eloquently put it, fell off. Adrianna stared in silence at the now dismembered doll, her eyes wide with shock. This gave Gobber a few precious seconds to come up with a way to keep the child from shedding even more tears.

"Ahh look, the doll wants to be just like me!"

The loud hiccup emanating from the girl informed Gobber that this explanation had been ineffective mere seconds before the wails.

"You bwoke it!" she sobbed, tears splashing onto her shirt.

"Arr, it's easily fixable!" Gobber's eyes frantically searched the room for something with which to use to fix the doll. He spotted a piece of wood and a carving knife that were left over from the last time Hiccup had carved toys for the children. He immediately snatched them up and returned to the crying child. "Now take a look! This here can be the doll's new arm!" he shoved the wood into the socket. "And a new leg!" he shoved the knife into the place the leg had been.

Adrianna suddenly grinned through her tears. "It's just like daddy and you!" she squealed in excitement.

"Exactly!" Gobber returned the doll to the girl. "That was the plan."

"He's Dobcup!" she exclaimed.

"Dobcup?" Gobber asked incredulously. "Right. Okay. That works." he said. "Long as you stop crying for a minute." he muttered to himself.

While Gobber was distracted with the doll repair, Finn had decided that his mother's axe was a fun toy with which to play. He decided that he could throw it just as well as his mother and aimed it at the far wall (figuring that he wanted Gobber and Adrianna to remain alive and unharmed by the fierce looking weapon). He immediately threw it and... missed. The hilt and blade snapped apart and flew in different directions, the hilt hitting the wall and the blade colliding with the metal flowerpot, which was still on the floor after its flowers were harvested for Gobber's costume. His eyes widened in horror as he realized he had only seconds to act. The blade was more likely to get him in trouble so he quickly stuffed it into the flowerpot and turned to look at his almost-great-uncle.

Gobber was staring at him. "What have you been up to?"

"Just yooking at the fwowers." Finn said far too quickly.

Gobber had the distinct feeling that something was up. He eyed the boy suspiciously but could find no evidence of mischief.

"Well, come on over, then," Gobber said, gesturing to the yak-skin rug where Adrianna was now enthusiastically setting up their game of house. "Be the strong warrior for your sister, now."

The family game was possibly the best distraction that the children could have come up with, as it kept them occupied for a surprisingly long time. During the time that they played the sun officially set, Gobber managed to make some halfway decent fish for dinner (as Grandma, of course), babies were 'born' to Adrianna, Finn went to war three times (and won), and Grandma died, only to be brought back to life by a magical cake Adrianna had received from "the dragon fairy." Gobber was currently planning his next major disease, in hopes of lying down for a bit while Adrianna made 'soup' out of water and cabbages. Finn, meanwhile, had begun to get bored with the pastime, and was beginning to wander towards the front door.

"Oh no you don't, laddie!" Gobber yelled, catching the child's attention.

"When wiw mommy and daddy come home?" Finn asked, looking at the stars through the window, probably searching for the familiar shapes of Toothless and Stormfly.

"They will get back when the village is safe." Gobber replied.

"The viwage isn't safe?!" Adrianna's voice was filled with terror. Gobber was severely regretting that he had woken up at that morning.

"Aaah…" Gobber's voice trembled slightly as he considered the corner he was in. "No, of course the village is safe. There's no danger at all."

"But you said it wasn't!" Adrianna shouted.

"Then why haven't mommy and daddy come home?"

The fact that his stories had holes large enough for children younger than his boot to figure out was beginning to irk Gobber. He was not quite certain which child needed more attention right now—Adrianna, in the beginning of tears, or Finn, who was apprehensive.

"The village is safe, your mother and father just making sure that everything is clear around the village because that is their job." He said rapidly. "And they will be home as soon as they finish."

As suddenly as her tears had begun, Adrianna was suddenly overwhelmed by another feeling. "Unca Dobbew! Unca Dobbew!"

Gobber spun to fully face her on his peg leg. "Yes?"

"Outhouse! Outhouse!" She was dancing slightly and looking rather desperate. "Can you take me?"

Gobber felt a sense of urgency sweep over him. He grabbed Adrianna around the waist and began rapidly carrying her to the back of the house, putting her down to open the back door. She scampered through and ran to the outhouse, quickly followed by Gobber.

Finn, now left alone, noticed a darting flame outside the window by the bridge. Thinking it could possibly be his parents, he took the opportunity (checking over his shoulder as he snuck out) to go and greet them. He slid through the door and scampered across the lawn to the bridge, but was disappointed to see that the flames had not been the sparks of a landing dragon—they were, in fact, very small dragons. Fireworms, to be exact. Fireworms which, naturally, needed to be investigated. He stooped down and reached a tentative finger out to touch one, but it spotted him and darted across the grass to escape, quickly followed by its peers. Finn chose to track them through the grass (like a mighty dragon hunter) in hopes of "playing" with his new friends. The tiny dragons paused every few moments to cast a look a look at him, but made a beeline for a mound of rocks on the hillside (which were often utilized by Toothless and Stormfly for sunbathing).

Inside, Gobber had just realized that he was short one Haddock. He was not thrilled. He searched the house, hoping beyond hope that the little boy was hiding under the table or in a hole behind furniture waiting to pop out and scare him, but the child was not to be found. He even poked his head into the master bedroom—no luck. His stomach flip-flopped uncomfortably.

"Adrianna," Gobber said seriously, "I need you to sit down on the yak rug and play with Dobcup for a bit. Don't move. Don't follow me. Don't touch anything but your dolls, okay?"

Adrianna nodded, hesitantly and with a little surprise at her playmate's firmness. She had never seen Gobber like this before.

Gobber left the little girl on the rug (but left the door open, since he could not trust a three year old to sit still for an unspecified amount of time and needed to see if she decided to wander out as well), and went hunting for the boy.

"FINN!" No response. "FEARLESS FINN HADDOCK, COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Finn heard his name being called, and glanced over his shoulder where he could see Gobber running about with all the speed he could muster. Finn looked back at his goal. He was… so… close…

The fireworms had crawled between the rocks and were lighting their cave brightly with their glow. He was doing his best to climb into the hole without scraping his bare knees on the rocks or falling into the dragons beneath him, but there was only so much he could do. He was sure if he could reach out and touch their little noses that they would be thrilled to be his…

He closed his eyes. His hand stretched out. He could feel the heat. He had seen his dad do this to Toothless when helping new recruits train their dragons. He knew it would work…

"GOTCHA!" Gobber grabbed the little boy by the ankle and hoisted him from the hole, accidentally scraping Finn's knee as he went. Finn howled loudly—loudly enough to startle and in turn upset his sister in the house—but Gobber was, at that moment, more focused with what the child had been doing.

"I realize you aren't happy with me," he said, pinning the boy against his side, still upside down and furious, "but you'll thank me later. It is much preferable to have a banged up knee, or even no knee at all, than to be burned to a fiery death by angry fireworms. Or have them burn your skin off, which is the least of what would have happened."

Finn was busy pounding his fists against Gobber's prosthetic leg, which, naturally, had no effect whatsoever on Gobber. He was marched into the house and deposited, face first, onto the yak skin rug beside his now screaming sister.

"I guess blood doesn't agree with you." Gobber said calmly, getting something to clean the wound. As he dug around for a bandage in the first aid, he spotted some cottony wool which he pulled apart and plugged into his ears to dull the noise. Between the chorus of screaming twins, Gobber felt he had earned this right.

Finally, the knee was cleaned, the sobbing stymied, and Gobber's nerves had been strengthened by a sip of fine ale he had found in a jug in the medical cabinet behind the dried herbs. The twins had taken an abrupt nap on the rug, Gobcup between them. Gobber had returned to reading The Book of Dragons on the couch, and didn't even notice when the door swung open.

"What. A. Raid." Astrid said. Gobber looked up at her and smiled.

"Back so soon?"

"Fifteen Outcast ships. FIFTEEN." Hiccup joined Gobber on the couch. Both he and his wife appeared to be completely exhausted.

"We had to chase them off on dragon back while fighting off changewing guards in the air, and avoiding bolas."

"We are lucky to have gotten back so early." Hiccup continued.

"We are lucky to have gotten back at all." Astrid countered.

"Sorry, what was that?" Gobber pulled the cotton out of his ears.

Hiccup opened his mouth to reply, but turned to look at Gobber just as the now yellowish fuzz came out of his ears. "Gross… Gobber, why do you have cotton in your ears?"

"The children were singing. For three hours. About bottles of yak's milk on the wall." Gobber replied. Hiccup and Astrid were too tired to note the sarcasm in his voice.

"Oh, that makes sense." Hiccup rubbed his face to try and waken himself a little more, but as he did managed to glance down at his offspring.

"Gobber…"

"Hmm?" Gobber was getting ready to leave. Hiccup looked up at him and did a quick double-take.

"Why are you wearing Astrid's gardening bonnet?"

"Oh, this… That was your daughter's work."

"Good. I was hoping it wasn't our son's. But about him, why is his leg all wrapped up?"

"Ah, yes, well…"

Astrid got a little closer to inspect Finn, and at that moment noticed Gobcup. She pulled the doll out of Adrianna's limp hands quickly—though not fast enough not to stir the child.

"Gobber, what is this?"

"It's a doll." Gobber replied.

"It has a knife sticking out of it!" Hiccup felt a little panicky all of the sudden. In some ways, envisioning his tiny daughter playing with a sharp object imbedded in her favorite toy was more terrifying than fifteen Outcast ships with bolas and a changewing guard.

"Technically, the knife is sticking _into_ it," Gobber said slowly, "since the blade is inside."

"Well, that just makes me feel so much better." Hiccup deadpanned.

"And look at its stunning new arm!" Gobber gestured grandiosely towards the doll.

Adrianna tugged on her mother's skirt gently. "Can I have Mr. Dobcup back?" she asked.

Astrid blinked at this. "_Mr._ Gobcup?"

"Great, the doll isn't just now missing two limbs and carrying a lethal weapon, it is also going through a gender change." Hiccup collapsed back onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

"See, mommy, he has a hand wike Unca Dobbew and a foot wike Mr. Daddy."

"_Mr._ Daddy?"

"I don't think you need to be so formal with me, Addie, I've known you since you were born after all."

Adrianna glanced at her father, slightly confused by this statement, and then reached for her doll again. Astrid made sure to hold it out of her reach.

"I think we need to get some proper limbs on him first, Anna." She tried to soothe her daughter. "Then you can have… Mr. Dobcup… back. Maybe we'll even get him some new clothes. If it's a boy now, he probably shouldn't be wearing a dress."

"That's his nightie!" Adrianna insisted. "He's just gotten up fwom bed!"

"Ah, well, your father still needs to put a proper leg onto it, okay?" She handed the doll over to her husband and stooped to scoop the little girl into her arms. "It's time for you to go to bed, anyway, young shield maiden."

Adrianna, still fuzzy from her nap, struggled remarkably little as her mother carried her up towards bed (though she did have her mother make a detour to her father for a goodnight kiss before she was stolen away), a fact which Astrid and Hiccup both were willing to celebrate. By the time Astrid came down to collect Finn and continue her interrogation of Gobber, Gobber had already slipped out, leaving all his embarrassing incidents from the evening behind him. Or, at least leaving behind a lecture.

Well, almost all of his embarrassing incidents.

Gobber managed to get almost back to his home before loud snickering caught his attention. He glanced over and spotted the twins perched on a couple of barrels outside of the Great Hall.

"Nice hat," Ruffnut said. "I didn't know you were so into pink."

"Maybe he's letting out his feminine side. Wish you'd do that." Tuffnut continued.

Gobber would have threatened them, but fortunately Ruffnut seemed to think that punishing Tuffnut was her jurisdiction, and since that last comment merited a spirited assault. The noise drew out the neighbors, which drew more sniggering at his bonnet, but he managed to get back into his home (after removing the cursed thing) with only a few interjected commentaries and the explanation of "babysitting." He would never hear the end of this.

* * *

"And I never have. People still mention it to me."

Adrianna was giggling with barely muffled hiccups. Finn still seemed confused.

"So _why_ haven't you thrown it away?" He asked.

Gobber shook his head slowly. "Well, I always figure that I might need it again someday, if I have to watch other little girls." This was a lie. He really was just a sentimental fool at heart, but he'd rather die than admit it.

"Well. I see you've dug that thing out again." Hiccup commented through the open window of the forge.

"Daddy!" Adrianna vaulted up from the floor and hurdled towards him. He smiled and stepped into the door to catch her in his arms as she reached him, stumbling back slightly from the impact.

"Woah, slow down a bit Addie." He laughed. He started to unstrap the outer leather armor which he wore over his flight suit.

"Thanks for watching them at such short notice, Gobber." Astrid said as she came up behind her husband, who was now pulling a mangled warrior out from under one of his flight suit cross-buckles. It had spent the journey pinned down to his heart.

"Thanks for the good luck charm, Addie." He handed the doll back to her. A wooden hook, just like Gobber's, and a wooden leg, just like Hiccup's, could be made out from under its leather armor, a gift from Hiccup a few years before for Adrianna's birthday.

"I'm glad it worked," she replied. "Hey, dad… Whatever happened to the nightie Mr. Gobcup used to wear?"

Hiccup scratched his head awkwardly. "Well, I think I lost it when I was putting the new stuff on. Sorry."

"Uncle Gobber was telling us the story about how Mr. Gobcup became Mr. Gobcup, and when he played Grandma in our family game while babysitting us, and Finn nearly petted a fireworm—"

"A fireworm? Wait, when did Finn nearly pet a fireworm?" Hiccup searched his memory for this event. He knew that the other two had happened at the same time, so…

"Well, don't worry about that," Gobber said quickly. "It was so long ago, and there was no harm done."

"No harm? I think I have a scar on my knee." Finn began searching his skin for a minute scar.

"I think the scar is actually from a different time," Astrid remarked.

"What other time?" Finn asked.

"The first time Gobber babysat."

"So it was his fault." Finn pulled his pants leg down and stood up to join his family at the door.

Gobber laughed, "I think it was mostly your fault. You were definitely asking for it."

"Wait, what happened?" Adrianna asked. Hiccup laughed and tugged the end of her hair playfully.

"I think that's about it for today. You can ask Uncle Gobber for that story later. We need to get home; there's another storm coming in. Thankfully, everyone's on the island now."

The twins said their goodbyes and accompanied their parents from the workshop, badgering them with questions about their day. Gobber smiled at their retreating figures and began to put back the items strewn on the floor. He folded the pink bonnet and slowly buried it back in one of the baskets, hidden beneath the old Book of Dragons and a collection of other old sentimental heirlooms he couldn't bring himself to throw out. There were a lot of stories hidden in this particular basket—of the twins, of their father, and even of their grandfather. Maybe someday he would have time to tell them all.

* * *

_Writing these are far too much fun! We really appreciate your feedback. __Under Pressure__ is coming soon!_

_~KateMarie999 and amyboomerang_


	6. Poppy

_Here's a very sweet Stoick story. We had lots of feels while writing it. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Poppy**

* * *

The mead was pouring, the bells were ringing, the dragons were still licking pie off of their humans after their children had pelted them with pastries, and the Haddock children were beginning to drift off in their parents' arms. Knowing that it was getting past their bedtime, even for a holiday, Hiccup and Astrid had already begun to rebundle them into their warmest furs for the long trek back to their home near the Academy.

"Bedtime, I see," Stoick remarked as Astrid hauled Finn up into her arms and headed to the door.

"Yes, well, my child is ready," Astrid said pointedly, more to her husband than her father-in-law. Hiccup was still wrestling Adrianna's arms into her coat as she struggled to watch the festivities.

"I don wanna go bed…" She muttered, near incoherently. "I'm not tired."

Hiccup laughed a little. "Are you sure about that?" The little girl didn't answer.

"You never liked to leave Snoggletog yourself, son," Stoick reminisced for a moment. "Actually, even at this age you used to sneak away and hide. Mm… it all changed when your mother died, though, then I had to drag you along."

Hiccup smiled slightly and hoisted Adrianna up so that her head rested on his shoulder. "Well, since we're claiming children now," he said to Astrid, "I guess my kid is ready too." He turned to the hall of remaining Vikings and shouted over the music, "Goodnight everyone!" Many stopped to return the courtesy. Stoick accompanied them to the door where other members of the tribe were preparing to leave or were hauling out the empty barrels of drinks and liquors.

"Well, goodnight kids. Happy Snoggletog." Stoick clapped his son fondly on the back and smiled at Astrid. "Get the kids off to bed."

Adrianna, who was still mostly awake, tugged on her grandfather's beard rather affectionately. He leaned forward to respond to her beckoning, and she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

"G'night Poppy. Happy Snogtog."

He smiled and kissed her on the top of the head. "You too, Anna. I'll see you tomorrow." He gently ruffled Finn's head, but as the boy was now completely asleep he didn't stir. When the door finally closed shut behind the couple, blocking out the icy blasts of snowy air, a hairy, unwelcome arm draped familiarly around Stoick's shoulder.

"Poppy?" It was Spitelout. He appeared to be rather tipsy, and was washing down his last mead with a pint of whiskey. "Stoick the Vast is called… Poppy? By a little brat?"

"That's my granddaughter you're talking about, Spitelout." Stoick shrugged off the man's arm.

"Still," Spitelout sniggered. "I have a hard time seeing a great warrior as yourself as a 'Poppy!' Couldn't you have come up with a more Viking title? Something more… rugged and manly? Becoming your son's father, you are!"

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" Stoick gave the man a hard look, but Spitelout was a little too far from his right mind to refrain from opening his mouth.

"Well, you know… _different._ Soft."

"My son, the dragon trainer, is far from not being a Viking." Stoick felt rather defensive, though he was certain Spitelout probably hadn't meant his comment in a malicious way. Well, not _too_ maliciously, at least.

"Poppy!" Spitelout continued guffawing for a moment before a handbell came to rest with a dull clang on his shoulder. Gobber, bell for a hand, was frowning at him.

"I think you need to sober up some, before Stoick sobers you up for good." He suggested. Stoick sighed.

"He's too drunk to kill, Gobber."

"Still, it sounded good." Gobber insisted. Stoick laughed.

It perhaps should not have surprised Stoick that so many of the remaining adults in the hall were interested in the goings on at the door, especially as Spitelout was letting his mouth hang looser than usual. They were shooting inquisitive looks at the trio, and Stoick was beginning to feel that perhaps this was the optimal time to share a little good cheer, by way of a rather amusing story.

"Well, Spitelout, if you must know," he began, his voice a little louder than it had been before, "I wasn't too keen on the name 'Poppy' myself, but as it happened, I didn't have much choice on the matter. But, well, you know children—and any child of Hiccup's would have to be just as stubborn as their father—"

* * *

Stoick sat down at the roughly hewn table with a loud _thump_. Astrid was in the process of pouring him a stein of yak's milk while her husband was coming down the stairs with a bundle of loose leaves of paper.

"Thanks for coming over, dad," Hiccup was saying as he shuffled through the papers, a few falling unnoticed to the ground as he did.

"No problem. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Stoick drummed his fingers somewhat impatiently. "Gobber said it was urgent."

"Well, it's about the twins—" Hiccup began. Stoick's heart jumped a little in his chest. It seemed as though since the twins had been born it had been sleepless nights, bouts of colic, and screams of terror when one of the babies took a tumble. The parents had been high-strung since the children had been born, and Stoick had, on several occasions, received rushed requests to come fix the problems, as apparently Lotus could not be reached for every emergency.

"Well, tell me the worst of it."

"The worst?" Hiccup looked up from his papers. "It's just their birthday. Next week. We wanted to do something memorable for it."

"This was an emergency?"

"Not an emergency, per se, more like it was urgent because of time restraints. We were thinking about maybe throwing a party, and making something special for them. They are beginning to walk now, so we were thinking…"

"You do know that your children are too young to remember what you do for this occasion." Stoick interrupted Hiccup's train of thought.

"Yes, but it's their first birthday. It's a _momentous_ occasion. Just imagine, they both survived one whole year with Astrid and me as their parents!"

"I do suppose that is something to celebrate," Stoick conceded. "But I still don't see what you need me for."

"Well, my family didn't really celebrate my first birthday," Astrid said, placing the milk before her father-in-law. "We were wondering what you did with Hiccup."

Stoick leaned back, searching his memories. "Ah! Yes, I remember. I took Hiccup to his first war meeting for his first birthday. You know, it was quite funny; partway through the meeting—"

"I don't think that I really want to take them to a war meeting. And in any case, we aren't on the verge of war…" Hiccup cut in. "Didn't you and mom do anything else?"

Stoick seemed to consider this for a bit. "Well, I think we had a bit of a party all to ourselves, and we did have a rather good present for us all. I commissioned Gobber to-"

Interruptions were running rampant that afternoon, as a shrill cry echoed from upstairs where the twins had been sleeping in their nursery. The couple exchanged looks as if to ask whose turn it was to respond, and as it so happened, it was Hiccup's. He sighed, dropped his various ideas on the table, and turned to go back upstairs to his offspring. Stoick found himself chuckling at this, remembering similar experiences in his own past. Quiet, distant hiccups interrupted his reminiscences as the nursery door opened.

"Sorry to drag you over here for something like this. We just wanted to make it special and our ability for creative thought has been—" a cry interrupted from her from upstairs, "inhibited."

"When was the last time you two took a day off?" Stoick asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"No one wants to watch a pair of twins. Even the other twins don't. Well, they tried once and even with their parents there to supervise, _no one_ wants to watch a pair of twins." Astrid sighed.

"You haven't asked _me_."

"Yes well… you haven't offered. And we figured you were busy with all your duties as chief. Plus…" Astrid paused, thinking carefully. "You raised Hiccup. We figured you'd had enough stress for a lifetime."

"Thank you _so_ much." Hiccup retorted, coming down the stairs with a twin held to each shoulder.

Stoick wordlessly walked up and took the wriggling Finn from his son. Hiccup looked deeply thankful. The chief bounced Finn a bit as he walked back to Astrid, causing the small boy to calm down a bit.

"If you'd like, I can take the twins to my house for a few hours so you can get some rest." He offered.

Sensing that this was a one-time offer, Hiccup and Astrid jumped all over it. Hiccup deposited the drowsy little girl in his father's other arm.

"All right, guys, have fun with your… your… we don't have a name for you." The young father realized. "What should they call you?"

"They can call me chief." Stoick said dismissively.

"Cheeeef!" Finn squealed, grinning and clapping his hands.

"They are _not_ calling you chief." Astrid insisted. "How about gramps?"

"That makes me sound old." Stoick complained.

"Well, I mean, you _are_ a grandfather." Hiccup shrugged.

"Watch your mouth, young man. This is a serious discussion. We're talking about the name they'll call me for the rest of my life." Stoick glared at his son who, instead of being intimidated, rolled his eyes.

"How about Pops?" Astrid suggested.

"Popsy!" Adrianna exclaimed with a grin.

"Absolutely not. That's even worse than gramps." Stoick shook his head.

Adrianna paused for a moment, thinking hard. "Poppy!"

Stoick opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted by grandson's shrill voice.

"Poppy! Poppy! Poppy!" Finn shouted, wiggling excitedly.

Stoick's look of disgust caused Hiccup to howl with laughter. "I think it's settled. You're Poppy." He chortled.

"A poppy is a _flower_!" Stoick protested. "Do I, in any way, resemble a flower?

Hiccup didn't trust himself to answer this question and so he remained silent. Stoick immediately picked up on his hesitation.

"No smart remarks about my beard." The larger man demanded.

Ironically, this was the moment young Adrianna decided that her Poppy's beard was a good toy to play with. She grabbed a fistful of thick, light red hair and tugged very hard. Stoick, having not been expecting this, attempted to pry her tiny fingers loose with his massive one. This proved to be unsuccessful. Finally, ignoring his daughter-in-law's laughter now, he resorted to using his pinky to pry open her clenched digits.

"Poppy!" she said, putting her arms as far around his neck as she could reach (which wasn't very far).

Stoick bristled. He was going to need to have a talk with his granddaughter.

* * *

They touched down in a flowery field coated in orange, red, and yellow an hour later. Stoick deposited both giggly children on the ground. Finn shakily stood up and took a few steps toward particularly large red flower before falling down on his bottom. Adrianna had not taken her first steps yet but she wasted no time in hoisting herself up using the leg of his pants and attempting to crawl into his lap.

"Poppy!" she repeated.

"Yes, Anna. This is a field of poppies." Stoick explained slowly. "I am not a poppy. This is a poppy." The grandfather picked up a flower and held it up to his tiny granddaughter's face.

"Poppy!" she squealed, pointing to Stoick with a big smile.

"Nooooo." Stoick said, holding the flower up so the girl had no choice but to look at it. "This is a poppy. I am a grandfather." He pointed to himself "Grand-fa-ther." he said slowly. He then pointed to the poppy. "Poppy." He repeated this several times.

Adrianna looked deeply thoughtful for a moment. She then brightened up and tugged the flower out of his hands. Thinking that she had finally gotten the idea, Stoick smiled as she crawled into his lap and stood on his leg so that she could reach the lowest point of his beard. She weaved the flower into it as best she could.

"Poppy." She said in a delighted sounding voice.

"Yes, there is now a poppy in my beard." Stoick said, beginning to sound slightly defeated.

The tiny girl climbed out of his lap and crawled into the field to collect more specimens. Finn, on the other hand, was attempting to climb into Thornado's mouth. The Thunderdrum, who had only opened his mouth to yawn, had been bewildered to discover a pair of hands hoisting a little body over his lips and toward his throat. He coughed slightly, as the dry hair irritated him, but refused to close his mouth or even shift it the slightest bit for fear the child would be impaled on a sharp tooth.

"Finn!" Stoick called. "Get out of the dragon's mouth!"

"Dwagaaaa!" Finn shouted with glee.

Stoick reached forward and grabbed the boy by his belt (which his parents called his leash) and pulled him out of the dragon's mouth. Finn didn't seem to realize the danger he had just been in. On the contrary, he seemed to think that this was an excellent adventure and was keen to embark on another one. By the time Stoick had managed to deposit the wiggling toddler on the other side of his lap, away from the dragon's mouth but dangerously close to its tail, Adrianna had decided that her grandfather needed to display his more feminine side and that all his gesturing from the flower to his beard had indicated quite clearly what he had wanted.

"Poppy!" She exclaimed, weaving a fourth flower into the man's long locks.

"It's not Poppy!" he snapped, turning back to the tiny girl.

The second the words were out of his mouth, he realized he had made a mistake. Adrianna's green eyes widened in fear and a hiccup escaped her throat.

"All right, all right!" he consented, knowing full well what the hiccup preceded. He put on an exaggerated grin. "Poppy is fine! Poppy is wonderful! I love Poppy! Whatever my little princess wants!" he hoped this would satisfy her.

It did. Seeing that he was now happy, Adrianna instantaneously went back humming and putting more flowers into her Poppy's beard. The afternoon was spent, crawling, tumbling, tickling, and wrestling in a poppy field. And, though he would never have said it out loud, Stoick was beginning to feel a warm, fuzzy place in his heart opening up for the name Poppy and those who knew him as such.

* * *

The first thing Hiccup and Astrid noticed when Stoick returned their now exhausted toddlers was that the older man's beard and a good amount of his hair were now littered with brightly colored flowers.

"So… had a fun afternoon?" Hiccup asked, trying to keep the amusement in his voice to a minimum (and failing miserably).

"Very good. Now I'm off to see Gobber for a restful evening." Stoick replied.

"I'm _sure_ you are." Hiccup deadpanned, his mouth twitching.

"Now, now, Hiccup." Astrid said conspiratorially. "Let's not meddle into your father's private business."

"Especially not this." Hiccup agreed.

Stoick gave them a withering look. "You know very well that's not what I mean." He said.

"Then why did you get dressed up for the occasion?" Hiccup turned to Astrid and, in a very audible whispered, continued. "Who knew my father, the chief, was the woman in this relationship."

Astrid burst out laughing as Stoick smacked Hiccup on the side of the head. "This was _your daughter's_ doing!" he exclaimed.

"Oh good. I was beginning to wonder." Hiccup sounded legitimately relieved.

Stoick made a move to extricate one of the larger flowers but, upon seeing his granddaughter's rather proud expression, he found himself unable to do so.

"Poppy!" she squealed delightedly.

Hiccup and Astrid looked back at Stoick, who shrugged. "I have killed hundreds of dragons, fought in three wars, and was present at the operation when my son had the rest of his foot removed. I might be saying this myself but I am a very brave man. But, despite it all, I have discovered that I cannot win an argument with a one year old girl who, under the threat of tears, has utterly defeated me."

"That's my girl!" Hiccup smiled and picked up his little daughter, who put her arms around his neck.

"I should have known you'd be involved in my downfall." Stoick said, shaking his head. "But I really do have to get to Gobber. We've set up a date- I mean _meeting_ ever week at this time." He added, seeing his son's sly grin. "You know it's not like that."

"Oh I know. But what can I do when you make it so easy?" Hiccup chuckled.

"Right." Stoick said, realizing that he had absolutely no argument. "I'll just go then."

It wasn't until he was out of sight of the house that Stoick the Vast carefully removed the brightly colored flowers from his hair. His first instinct was to toss then but then, remembering his granddaughter's smile as she had weaved them into his beard, found himself unable to part with them.

* * *

Spitelout looked very amused as Stoick's story came to a close. Stoick had, of course, failed to mention the fact that he had kept the flowers, but the other Vikings were still raising their eyebrows at him.

"Call it what you may, but you won't understand until you have a granddaughter of your own. She'll have a very specific power over you, the kind that sneaks up on, grabs you from behind, and throws you into the prison of her heart forever." Stoick explained in a surprisingly gentle voice.

"I'm not convinced." Spitelout slurred. "You're just soft."

"Better soft than stubborn." Stoick retorted.

Within minutes, Spitelout had passed out, his head on the table and drool slowly emanating from his slack mouth. The next morning, through a pounding headache, he would remember absolutely nothing about this story. Neither would most of the town.

But Stoick woke up that first day after Snoggletog clear headed, warm hearted, and beside his book of pressed poppies.

* * *

_Due to this installment's unfortunate (okay… intentional but still unfortunate) timing, I am aware I may have some very emotionally distressed readers. You all should know that… I don't regret a thing. For some reason, people seem to like emotional distress, otherwise no one would read this series._

_Also I definitely don't ship Stobber but I think they're the most epic bromance ever._

_In all seriousness, I guess I can say without spoiling anything that Stoick centered stories will continue to be written. I hope you enjoy._

_~KateMarie999 and amyboomerang  
_


	7. Mini Fables: Nothing, Mistakes

_Well I promised some mini-Fables and my writing partner hasn't had time to write so I decided to just write these on my own. From this point on, I think the stories are going to be a combination of funny and touching. Because I keep getting these really sweet but not necessarily funny ideas. Though there will still be humor! _

_These are two stories I came up with yesterday. They're out of chronological order but I'm posting them in the order I wrote them. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Nothing**

* * *

Aside from Stoick, Hiccup didn't tell anyone about his secret hideaway during days filled with too much stress. His childhood home stood deserted most of the time and, aside from the muffled noises of the village square, silent. He didn't like to venture in very often, only when he needed a break for a little while.

It had been a noisy week. Adrianna had been sullen and moody for what seemed like no reason at all. Attempting to get her to follow the simplest orders was more difficult than snatching a fish from a hungry Terrible Terror. She had done quite a bit of shouting and Finn had determinedly shouted louder than she so that he would be heard. All-in-all, Hiccup felt like he deserved this break as he walked through the front door.

There was something oddly comforting about his old surroundings. Stoick wasn't big on change and so, aside from a few modifications for the dragons, it stood exactly the same as it had been when he was born. He had vague memories of his mother sitting down on the very bench upon which he sat and telling him stories she had made up. When she died, the stories were some of the things he missed the most. Stories of trolls and dragons and the heroic Vikings who went up against them. Even Stoick would listen in, though he often pretended he was only in the room so that he could do a task that, in all honesty, didn't need doing.

But though both were gone, his mother to Valhalla and Stoick to a boring council meeting, they lingered like shadows in the flickering light of a candle. He could almost see his father telling him it was about time he learned dragon killing, could almost hear his own voice as he desperately attempted to change his mind. His mother's contended humming sometimes echoed when it was quiet enough. Hiccup sat still, a cup of hot tea in his hands, and closed his eyes, willing his mind to bring back all the sounds he remembered so that it would fill the quiet of the room.

"Poppy!"

Hiccup sighed deeply, a small smile on his face. Today just kept getting louder and louder. A second later, the door burst open and a tiny boy with red hair darkened the doorstep ever so slightly. He cocked his head like a confused Night Fury when he saw Hiccup sitting in front of the glowing fire pit.

"Well if I had known I would be having company, I would have made another cup of tea." Hiccup said cheerfully.

Finn grimaced. "Ew!"

His father breathed a laugh and surrendered to the fact that he wouldn't be getting much alone time that day. He patted the space next to him on the bench and Finn, after shutting the door, sat down and stared into the embers.

"Why are you here?" he asked, placing his head in his hands and both elbows on his knees.

"Well it's quiet here. And not at home. I was starting to miss it." Hiccup explained, placing his cup of tea next to him and emulating his son's pose. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk to Poppy." Finn replied with a sigh.

"Oh?" Hiccup gently nudged the boy. "What about?"

"Nothing." Finn said through his teeth.

"Well Poppy's going to be gone all day. Mondays are always busier. More fights to break up and things to fix." Hiccup watched the embers slowly darken. "Things still break on the weekends when most of us are resting up for the next week."

"Oh." Finn sighed again.

"You can tell me, buddy."

The four-year-old looked up at his father for a few seconds, furrowed his brow, and shook his head. "No, I just have to talk to Poppy."

"Is it something about me or mommy or Addie?" Hiccup coaxed. Finn paused for a second before nodding. "Are you not happy?" The pause was longer before the subsequent nod. Hiccup put a hand on his son's back. "Me neither."

"But... but..."

"Oh I'm not angry at them." Hiccup backtracked. "I love your mommy and sister very much. But that doesn't mean they don't make me want to go away for a little bit so I can do... nothing."

The look of confusion crossed the boy's features once more. "What _is_ doing nothing?" he asked.

"Well... I suppose it means going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering." Hiccup smiled. "It's when people say, 'what are you two doing?' and you say, 'oh, nothing.' And we do it."

"Oh." Finn turned back to the embers.

"This is sort of a nothing thing we're doing right now." Hiccup nudged his son once more. "It's nice to get away from everything once in a while."

"I guess." Finn picked up a poker and started moving the embers around, enjoying the process of making sparks fly out of them and over the pit for a few seconds. "Why do you come here?"

"I grew up here." Hiccup breathed a laugh. "I used to sit just where you're sitting and poke the fire with that very poker myself when I was the same size as you."

"Wow. That was a long time ago!" Finn exclaimed, his blue eyes alight with mischeif.

"Watch it! I'm not _that_ old!" Hiccup chuckled.

Finn giggled. "Okay." he conceded. "But Poppy is old."

"Oh yes. Your Poppy is a very old man." Hiccup agreed, his smile widening.

"So is this why my house is sometimes sweltering when I get back from work?" came a booming voice from the doorway.

"Oh no, that's just old age. Men your age are often confused." Hiccup called, knowing full well he deserved a good smack for that comment. Finn let out a laugh and covered his mouth with his hand.

Stoick stomped into the room and gave his son a withering look. "I'm not even going to dignify that statement with a response."

"Wouldn't that statement count as a response?" Hiccup dared.

He got his smack.

"Meeting ran shorter today so I thought I'd come home for a bit of relaxation. I wish I'd known I would have company." Stoick sat down on the bench across from his son and grandson, stretching out his muscles.

"You can relax. We're just doing nothing." Finn supplied with a grin.

"Nothing?"

"Yes, dad. I know you're not familiar with the concept." Hiccup winked and braced himself for another smack.

"I'll have you know that I did plenty of nothing in my day. And a whole lot more after you moved out."

Now Finn was laughing at Hiccup, who looked a bit sheepish. "Well raising me wasn't an easy task. I know that now. This little guy is hard work."

"No I'm not." Finn vehemently shook his head.

"Oh yes you are. Just wait until you have kids of your own." Hiccup chuckled. "But we love you anyway."

"I'm not having kids. I'd have to marry a _girl_." Finn stuck out his tongue in disgust.

Both Stoick and Hiccup laughed at this statement for quite a bit longer than Finn anticipated. What was so funny? Girls were _icky_!

"One day, you might not find them so bad." Stoick said, shaking his head with a smile still on his face.

"And your mommy was a little girl once." Hiccup added.

"Yes but she's _mommy_." Finn said as if this explained everything.

"Yes she is, little man. Maybe you should thank her once in a while." Hiccup put his arm on the boy's shoulder.

"I thought we were doing nothing." Finn reminded them. "I don't want to talk about _girls_!"

"Ahh. Of course not." Stoick winked at Hiccup, who shook his head in amusement. "That would be wasting our nothing time."

Finn smiled and went back to work poking the embers. For the next hour or so, three generations stared into the flames and listened to all the things they couldn't hear. And through the occasional crackling sounds and muffled noise outside, all three Haddock men heard the noises of times gone by. The ghosts that inhabited the old house were always present but it took a good deal of nothing to sense them. And by the time they had to leave, the Haddocks felt like it was the most relaxing and most enjoyable nothing they had ever done.

* * *

**Mistakes**

* * *

Things in the Haddock house weren't quite back to normal yet. True, Adrianna had finally begun to sleep in her own bed and her laughter became more frequent and less forced. But there was still an aura of uncertainty that hung over the house, of the fear that harm would befall the girl once more. Things that deviated from the norm and were once overlooked often made everyone, even Finn, a little bit jumpy.

After kissing Astrid goodbye and waving to Stoick, who was taking Finn away for their typical Thursday activities, Hiccup noticed that his daughter hadn't made an appearance. She was a late sleeper, something he was letting slide quite a bit more thanks to her frequent nightmares, but she still hadn't gotten out of bed. The young father had a strong feeling that something wasn't quite right.

He climbed the stairs slowly so that any sudden noises wouldn't distress his daughter. Lately, he found himself needing a few seconds to mentally prepare himself for dealing with Adrianna. He would take a broken child over no child at all but it was still greatly upsetting to watch her cope with something that shouldn't have happened at all. And that, perhaps, might not have happened if her father had been more diligent.

_No,_ he thought. _What's done is done. The person who is at fault is Trista and only her. I did the best I could with the information I had._ It wasn't a comforting thought and, truthfully, he couldn't quite believe it yet, but he reminded himself of this as frequently as he could.

He gently knocked on his daughter's door and pushed it in. "Addie?"

The little girl looked up at him and immediately averted her gaze. She was sitting up, her blankets covering her legs and her hands gripping them very tightly. Even with everything that had happened just under a month ago, it was a bit out-of-character for her to refuse to look him in the eye.

"Addie, what's the matter?" Hiccup strode forward and got on his knees next to his little girl.

Adrianna shook her head and still refused to look at him. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Hiccup smiled at her. "Hey, whatever it is, it's okay."

Her daddy reached forward to tug the covers from her grip. She let out a squeak and held onto them so hard, her little knuckles were white. Hiccup was perplexed. She looked perfectly fine, albeit a little bit sweaty, so why was she holding her blankets with a death grip as if hiding something horrible? The answer hit him a second later.

"Addie?" he asked, his voice as gentle as he could make it. "Did you have an accident last night?"

He had apparently guessed correctly. The little girl's resolve finally broke and she began to cry into her hands. Hiccup immediately put his arms around her and let her cry on his shoulder.

"Aww, honey, it's okay. Accidents happen." he muttered, holding her tightly and feeling the jolt from each hiccup.

He had never seen her this... _mortified_. She had the coordination of a drunk Terrible Terror and didn't even seem phased when she tripped over something in front of people. In fact, she often laughed right along with them. But that was before her ordeal which, he thought, might have played a big part in what had happened.

"You're really embarrassed, aren't you?" Hiccup continued. He felt her head bob up and down on his shoulder. "Everybody makes mistakes, baby."

"B-but I'm not s-supposed to." she wept, her entire body shaking.

"Who told you that?" Hiccup pulled her away for a moment so he could look into her eyes. She sniffled loudly and he wiped away her tears as best he could. "Because that is just silly. Everybody makes mistakes. Finn makes mistakes. Mommy makes mistakes. Poppy makes mistakes."

Adrianna shook her head and covered her face with her hands. She looked almost frightened. No, she looked _completely terrified_. Like finding out about her little accident, which wasn't even a big deal in the grand scheme of things, was the worst thing in the world.

After a few seconds, she found her voice again. "D-don't let them t-take me away again."

"What?" Hiccup gasped, completely shocked. "Addie, what that woman did to you was wrong. Listen to me." he put his hands on her shoulder and waited until she met his gaze. "You were _not_ being punished. You did _nothing_ wrong. And no one will _ever_ take you away again. No matter how many mistakes you make."

She didn't avert his gaze this time. "You p-promise?"

"I promise."

"You m-make mistakes?" she continued, now gripping his arm with her little hand.

Hiccup laughed. "Yes, Addie. I make mistakes. A lot. Every single day. I made a big mistake yesterday."

"You did?"

"I sure did. Erick's mommy wanted me to get her some flour from the food storage. You know how the bakery is aaaall the way across the village?" Adrianna nodded. "Well on the way back, right in the middle of the village and in front of everyone, the bag exploded all over me. I was completely covered in flour and I had to walk all the way across the village looking really silly and white." the little girl let out a timid giggle. "Oh I looked very ridiculous. Everybody saw me. Everybody laughed at me. But you know what I did?" she shook her head. "I made fun of myself. I laughed with them."

"Is that why your hair was white and you had to take a bath?" Adrianna asked.

"It sure is. I was embarrassed. Just like you are right now. Everybody saw me make that big mistake. But you know what?" Hiccup tapped her nose with his pointer finger. "You and me are the only ones who are _ever_ going to know about yours."

Adrianna sniffled. "Not mommy?"

"Nope, not mommy. I'm not going to tell anyone." Hiccup kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Addie."

"I love you too, daddy." Adrianna wiped away the last of her tears.

"Now let's get you all cleaned up and then we can make a snowman outside."

Hiccup ruffled her messy hair and was pleased to see his daughter genuinely smile.

* * *

_Okay this doesn't usually happen to me but I had MAJOR warm fuzzies writing that last story. I seriously wanted to jump into the story and give Addie a big hug. Did I mention I love her? I really do!_

_And the first story was in response to the requests that Hiccup and Finn have some father/son time. Now that __Under Pressure__ is finished (if you haven't read it yet, go read it because now you won't have to deal with cliff hangers), I can really take some time and map out the father/son elements of __Stowaway__._

_I hope you all liked these two little stories! I've got a few more coming, most of which are funny!_

_~KateMarie999_


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